Instilling Fear (Pg. 211-216)

One of the easier things about writing this blog series is that the relationship between the two protagonists is a bad one. It's not that the writing is bad, but that the characters themselves are. Especially Edward who after a century ought to know what he is doing, and the scary thing about him is that he probably does. I would contend that Edward was a predator before he was a vampire, maybe just a victim of his time who can't help but treat women as beneath him. Or maybe it's not women (since we have yet to see how he interacts with his sisters) but it's a class thing. In either case this whole relationship is based on control.

Not say that Bella is any better. Far from being the strong intellectual type that she wishes us to think her as, she plays right into it hoping that she won't do anything to anger him, and only rebuking him for minor issues, "You know I haven't forgiven you for the Tyler thing yet."

Still at lunch she abruptly changes the subject from the warnings that she is receiving from Edward. What I don't understand is how she can blame Edward for Tyler assuming that the two are going to the prom. Tyler's motivation is obvious, his actions are commendable in that light if not a little misplaced. Tyler, so far, is one of the most likable characters in the book because he still feels guilt over almost killing Bella. Bella is embarrassed by the guilt and somehow thinks that it is Eddie's fault...which it sort of is since had he not saved Bella's life she would not have to deal with it. Tyler doesn't like Bella, at least not in that way, he just wants to atone for his actions. It isn't Edward's fault that he is a decent person and that isn't something we can really say deserves forgiveness.

With the Girl's Choice dance looming on the weekend, we still have Bella's commitment to going to Seattle that day. I still question her motivation on this, she has nothing to lose by going. Everyone knows that she is clumsy but now that she has friends the only thing that she is going to miss is the first hand accounts of everything that her friends are going to be talking about on Monday. Not going does give her two things that she really wants. The first is time with Edward, which is only a recent development. The second is that the "lonely loner" in her is going to get the type of attention that she would only get by not going. She gets to seem doubly mysterious now that everyone is currently seeing the two eat together, by themselves, at lunch.

Several times she notices that everyone is staring at them. Edward doesn't seem to care, but his failing to pick up on this not-so-good aspect of her personality reinforces my contention that he's an idiot. He still thinks she's going to Seattle because of her embarrassment, "Are you referring to the fact that you can't walk across a flat, stable surface without finding something to trip over?"

We know that he's exaggerating because she walked to his car, and then from class to class without doing anything close to that but she keeps the lie up. Telling him that he's never seen her in gym. The two situations are completely different and the comparison fails. This is the fault of the writer who has thus far shown that she is quite capable of doing banter between the two. The problem is that she's written Bella into another corner, and Meyer isn't the best at getting out of them. Everyone but Edward knows she is lying, so why not just come out with it?

The only thing that Bella does accomplish is that she strikes a bargain with Edward that she will drive. Edward frowns because this will be missed opportunity to keep the fear going in her. She wants to drive for two reasons, "leaving my truck at home would just bring up the subject (with her father) unnecessarily. And also, because your driving frightens me."

She wants to keep the new boyfriend secret from her father, I can buy that. If that's the case though, why did she leave her truck at home? I mentioned this two weeks ago, Forks is a small town and her father could very easily just swing home from work for lunch. If she was that concerned about him finding out* she would do better to hide it.

Edward makes a suggestion that they don't go to Seattle, since Bella has no real reason to go there in the first place. Indeed, the only reason that she is claiming to go is that it is far enough away that people won't expect her to make a trip and still go to the dance. It's a bit observant but not for the right reason, "The weather will be nice, so I'll be staying out of the public eye...and you can stay with me, if you'd like to,' Again, he was leaving the choice up to me."

Is really leaving the choice up to Bella? The whole idea of ditching the dance was hers in the first place. I don't know if this was done to trick the reader or if Bella is just that desperate for his affection because she completely buys it. Not only that, but she also seems grateful for him to allow her to make the choice that she set up to begin with. This would be like cooking a burger for someone else and that person telling you that you could have one as well.

If they are still going to Seattle Edward gets worried because of the location, "I shudder to think of the trouble that you could find in a city that size." He's got a noticeable pattern, it's normal banter, typical boy-girl stuff and then he inserts the danger back into the conversation. He needs to remind her that she isn't safe, and only he can protect her--more evidence of his desire to subjugate Bella so that she will come to completely depend on him. Bella objects, and realistically as well, by reminding Edward that Phoenix was three times the population of Seattle and also larger in size as well.**

It's a good objection. We don't know anything about Bella's life in Arizona, but we do know is that she got out unscathed. Edward reminding her that she's a danger magnet isn't borne out by the facts, it only serves his interests. Unflustered by the audacity of her retort he comes back with, "your number wasn't up in Phoenix."

This is just creepy. The only way he could know that is if he is going to be dialing her number. I get that he likes to be the bad boy but comments like this put him passed that level and into the sociopath department. The chapter then gets worse as Edward explains that Bella ought to tell Charlie who he's going with, why? "To give me some small incentive to bring you back."

Ok, that's not good. If no one knows where she's going and with who Edward has no reason to return her? I thought he was the good kind of vampire. Even if he's joking I fail to understand the humor, and the writing doesn't bear this out either as Bella seems to be genuinely shocked by his comment. She changes the subject to his eating habit, probably out of fear for the two comments that imply he's going to murder her.

This gets to a part of the lore that Meyer is establishing. The vampires in her world can feed off of animals. Edward prefers to eat mountain lion, while his brother Emmett prefers Grizzly Bear. See, the type of personality that they have apparently dictates what their favorite food will be. Mountain Lions feed off of deer, elk, and moose. Unlike their African relatives, the Puma (same animal many different names) attacks by ambush, leaping from trees on unsuspecting defenseless prey. The Grizzly attacks up front, but the Cougar slips in quietly waiting for the easy meal. Yeah I agree, the choice of food does match the personality of the vampire. It means that Edward is a d-bag.

Surprisingly Edward tops his previous statements to scare Bella. She reminds him that hunting is seasonal and that now isn't the season. Edward comes back with an odd reading of the hunting laws saying that the laws only limit hunting with weapons. Somehow I doubt this is the case but she gets scared again but her curiosity gets her and she asks if she could witness them hunting. Shocked and angry he replies no. She can never come, not because it is frightening, in fact, "if that were it, I would take you out tonight," he said his voice cutting. "You need a healthy dose of fear. Nothing could be more beneficial for you."

The only reason she needs to be afraid is so she'll need him more. It's this type of threat that makes me want to weep when I see girls wearing "Team Edward" shirts at the mall.

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*Which aside from normal teenage girl reasons, doesn't make sense. Her father, Charlie, has thus far only mentioned the Cullen family in a positive light. Even heaping admiration on Dr. Cullen for taking a job in such a small town when his talents could make him more money elsewhere. One might assume that a parent wouldn't have a problem with their daughter dating the son of a doctor.

**Two things come up here which I am resisting. The first is to nitpick the shit out of her statement by looking up the size and population of the two cities but that would be stupid because Bella wouldn't know it exactly. The second is to make an immigration joke (which I admittedly don't have one handy) but I am going to resist the impulse and keep this blog away from partisan politics.

Food and Entertainment (Pg. 206-212)

Skipping past the girl gossip on pages 204-206, we are now at lunch. Edward and Bella are going to by themselves because they have established the fact that they are secretly dating. See, it's such a secret that Bella already told her best friend and that they acting so inconspicuous about it. Edward for the second time isn't sitting with his family, a fact that is unique for the entire time he has been at the school. Who is he sitting with? The new girl, the one that everyone noticed when she first arrived in town and was almost hit by a car. I think the two of them ought to take a look at the dictionary definition of "secret," because they act completely contradictory to the term.

So far Bella believes that Edward is a vampire, but she hasn't really asked him a lot of the questions that we, normal people, would ask when confronted with this unique phenomenon. Thomas Paine in "The Age of Reason" pointed out the odd omission of any further writing concerning Lazarus. Lazarus, who was dead and then brought back to life by Jesus, should have been considered at least interesting since he alone, of anyone else in recorded history, had ventured into Hamlet's undiscovered country and came back. The fact that no one asked him what being dead was like, or even recorded his ultimate fate was suspicious according to Paine. Bella, like everyone else in Lazarus's time, ignores the big question of what Edward went through to become a vampire. Instead she seems to be more concerned with his day to day life than the big questions for which he could have an answer to.

For instance she asks about the fact that his family never appears to eat, which in all fairness is a decent inquiry, but then again she could have asked that before she knew he was a vampire. This is a bit long but it's worth quoting in full:

"What would you do if someone dared you to eat food?'
--'You're always curious.' He grimaced, shaking his head. He glared at me, holding my eyes as he lifted the slice of pizza off the tray, and deliberately bit off a mouthful, chewed quickly, and then swallowed. I watched, eyes wide.
'If someone dared you to eat dirt, you could, couldn't you?' he asked condescendingly."

There are several problems with this. First off, why would anyone dare him to eat food? Aside from another guy actually daring him to eat dirt/worms/etc. no one else suspects anything else. Bella, however, isn't that bright so it's more of an indication of that than anything else.

Secondly, why does Edward grimace? Sure it's understandable that he might be a bit impatient with her for always asking questions, but these shouldn't be unexpected. It's not like she's pestering him with questions like, 'where were you Saturday night?' or 'what are you thinking about?' she's been presented with a creature that up until a couple of weeks ago was only real as a fictional idea. His impatience with her alleged impertinence is unrealistic.

Thirdly, if he has the ability to eat then why doesn't he and his family? This is the first time that we as readers have seen a Cullen ingest anything, this is noticed by Bella and we can presume others as well since the family is so attractive and mysterious. If they are trying to blend in then they should be doing the normal things, things like eating which is only significant if someone doesn't do it. Since Bella noticed about the Cullen women, back in the beginning of the book that "The tall one was statuesque. She had a beautiful figure, the kind you saw on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue, the kind that made every girl around her take a hit on her self-esteem just by being in the same room." Surely people are noticing that they don't eat, especially the girls who are overly concerned with appearance might look to them as guides on how to ape that statuesque appearance.

This indicates one of two possibilities; that  they either don't really concern themselves with blending in or that the author wrote a stereotype of Vampire fiction but then forgot to carry it through. I vote the latter. I've read several "non-fiction" books* on Vampires, and the fact that they don't need to eat human food was consistent. What wasn't consistent was whether they could eat food. Tabletop RPG guides to Vampires would maintain that any food ingested would have to be evacuated by the Vampire's body or else it would be held by the non-functioning digestive system indefinitely. Sometimes this was the source of the foul odor that the vampires mouth emanated. It would be nice if Meyer addressed what happens later with Edward after eating the pizza but I'm not holding my breath.

The last issue is the false analogy that Edward gives Bella as a point that he is attempting to make, although if you ask me I couldn't tell you what point that is. He asks her about being able to eat dirt. Well, of course, she can eat dirt but there is a huge difference. Bella is human, Edward is no longer, the fact that he can eat food when centuries of myth have said that he can't should be a source of curiosity. His analogy is, I guess, supposed to explain away her curiosity but it doesn't work for me. It does, sadly, work for her.

It's on to more important topics, like whether or not the waitress from the other night was pretty. At this point Edward is just showing off. There is no reason for him to bring it up other than to illustrate that anything that she mentions to anyone else can be divined by him. The only reason to bring that up is to further remind her that in no way can Bella hide anything from her stalker...er, boyfriend. Although that could be considered unfair to Eddie, which is a hard thing for me to type.

From his point of view, he's had a little more than a century around people whose minds are as visible as Goethe barometers, and now he meets a person whose mind is completely closed to him. Out of arrogance, he might be trying to display that although her mind may be closed he can still get into her thoughts through secondary means. It could be a way for him to stroke his fragile ego like a guy who ends an argument with the phrase, "I could still kick his ass," or a hack science fiction/fantasy writer who lambastes a first time author but ends it with the phrase, "...but she's still pretty hot."**

After delving into Jessica's mind for the important information of the physical attributes of the Port Angeles waitress Eddie finds something disturbing. Bringing it up, Bella warns him that she knew that there would be some things that he wouldn't want to know, but he disagrees. His reasoning is strange, and a bit scary and not in a good way, "I do want to know what you're thinking--everything. I just wish...that you wouldn't be thinking some things."

Ah thought crime, where would conspiracy theorists and controlling boyfriends be without it. The thought that he finds so repulsive and worrisome, "Do you truly believe that you care more for me than I do for you?' he murmured, leaning closer to me as he spoke, his dark golden eyes piercing."

The dark ominous tone in the previous paragraph doesn't follow with the actual explanation. The thought I was expecting had the words, "turn," "eternity," and "together" in it. Not, gee I really think that he doesn't like me more than I like him. Although I guess the surprise is nice.

However she does have proof of this, "I'm absolutely ordinary--well, except for bad things like all the near death experiences and being so clumsy that I'm almost disabled. And look at you," I waved my hand toward him and all his bewildering perfection." It's the type of "evidence" that women lacking in self-esteem always bring out as the nuclear option. It begs several questions and serves to switch the conversation over from whatever it was about to inflating the girl's ego. The you-are-too-good-for-me argument, it never works and only adds to the resentment level in the relationship.

I should also mention that she is clearly inflating her desperate situation. She's had one actual near death experience and one hypothetical. Plus, her clumsiness*** isn't that bad. The other thing is that she compares herself experience-wise to Edward appearance-wise. His perfection can't compare with her imperfection. That would be like comparing a baby's ability to walk with my ability to read. Edward sort of gets the distinction, he mentions the thoughts of the other males at the school on her first day. He never tells us the reader, but we can figure it out for ourselves.

Edward, coming back to the subject at hand, replies that he is the one that cares more. Surprisingly, this reads better than a "I love you more. No, I love you more" conversation that plagued the series Friends for nine years. His reasoning is that he is prepared to leave Bella if it gets too dangerous for her. Just to reiterate, his proof that he loves her more is that he's ready to break her heart if she's in danger. Ok, fair enough, but he also pledges to stick around because she is danger all the time as she is a trouble magnet. So, exactly what is his plan? To protect her until it becomes really dangerous, or is he just trying to maintain that image of the dangerous loner.

In either case Bella has a back up plan if he does try and leave him, "If I had to, I supposed I could purposefully put myself in danger to keep him close...I banished that thought before his quick eyes read it on my face."

I like the part where she banishes the thought, not because she knows that it is wrong but because she doesn't want him to know that she will blackmail him emotionally if he tries to leave. It's not about love, it's about getting caught and getting punished. I really hope that people reading this aren't taking these two as a relationship to be admired.****


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*Obviously using the term non-fiction to refer to Vampires is a confusing issue when you aren't talking about literary characters.

**This comes from several forums criticizing the Twilight Series and Stephanie Meyer. I find it to be in poor taste and vulgar.

***I'm going to note it in every section where it is mentioned because it's mentioned far too frequently to not be important later. Meyer is digging a nice little literary hole here.

****Although it was pointed out to me that the name "Bella" and "Jacob" was topping the list of baby names last year, so some people are taking it seriously and they have both spouses and kids. I worry for the future.

Gossip Column (Pg. 197-206)

I gather I'm not alone by saying that I come from a family that likes to gossip. In dealing with this situation I have learned a couple of ways to deal with it, the first being that I don't say anything to anyone that I don't want any third party to know. If the web of gossip touches any part of my thoughts I assume as fact that it will get around, it may never get back to me personally that the stories are being spread about but the risk is not worth it especially considering that there is no reward.

This is quite important for our protagonists because their relationship is going to be big news in Forks High School as it will occupy the thoughts of the general population of the students but also be of great concern to two camps. Bella's friends and more importantly the Cullen family.

Edward has picked up Bella at her house, where Bella's dad has already left for work. Driving in the car Bella never once considers that if Charlie decides to run home for any reason he is going to notice that her car is still in the driveway. Thus far she has decided to keep the relationship between her and Edward a secret from him, for reasons that she has neglected to mention. If Charlie worked in an office, or some other occupation she could probably get away with it, but as a cop this is just sloppy thinking. His job is to drive around looking for trouble, and his lunch break is a lot more likely to take him home than most parents. This will lead Bella into the uncomfortable position of having to explain who took her to school and why.

Secondly, Edward is alone in the car with her. We don't know the extent of his family's viewpoint on the new relationship but since this whole book is about vampires and people getting together we can assume that it's not going to be one of approval. From their view the risk of exposure is too great and they actually have something to lose. We should set this up first, driving it occurs to Bella that they are alone in the car where usually it should be all of the Cullens driving together. She asks and unlike his usual grumpiness Edward answers, "They took Rosalie's car,' he shrugged as he parked next to a glossy red convertible with the top up. "Ostentatious, isn't it?"

Ostentatious indeed, in fact so much so that the head vampire, Dr. Cullen, must be some kind of super idiot. They live in Forks, Wa., and having a red convertible sports car makes as much sense as a local trying to pass off an artificial tan as real. I can picture Edward rolling his eyes at Rosalie's car, his chagrin is clearly warranted. Bella remarks that she is surprised that Rosalie would ever ride in the Volvo when she drove that to which Edward agrees but he knows that her car is a bad idea, "Like I said, it's ostentatious. We try to blend in."

Are they really trying to blend in? I would say that no, no they are not. Dr. Cullen works at the hospital, ok they need to make money so we can give him a pass on that. We don't know what his wife (or whatever you call it in Vampire speak) does, if anything, so for now we can assume that she stays at home. The blending in so far works. Then there are the kids, the six of them who are sent out in public to school for no reason whatsoever. It could be to get them out of the house and to socialize but they don't do that, they stick together at lunch time and they isolate themselves from everyone else. Then there is going to be the obvious problem of what to do after one school year as eventually they must either move forward resulting in some of them having to graduate. The good doctor hasn't thought this through, even though he's had centuries to work on it.

Bella, for once lives up to the intelligence that she claims she has by asking Edward the obvious question, "Why do you have cars like that at all?' I wondered aloud, 'If you're looking for privacy?"

When I was teaching it was questions like this that frustrated me so much. For instance if I was teaching St. Anselm's Ontological Proof and during the debunking stage someone would ask "why" the definition posited and reality instead of the more important "how." It's too close to be considered wrong but it's just far enough away that you can't nudge them toward the correct path.

Bella should have omitted the phrase, "like that" from her question so that it would read, "Why do you have cars at all?" If it is privacy they want, there are places like Northern Canada/Alaska or the middle of Africa that are desolate, they did pick a decent place though since it is sparsely populated. True privacy could have them live on the outskirts of town but absolutely no contact with the rest of the Forkers.

As I said it's a good question. Flashy sports cars and designer clothes are going to raise a bit of suspicion in a small town like Forks. Blending in cannot be the goal of the head of the Cullen family. Edward answers he that they like to drive fast as the reason they have them.

They like to fucking drive fast. I guess when facing the spectre of immortality you get whatever thrills you can, but this doesn't even seem consistent with the alleged secrecy that the Cullens are going for. Why doesn't the good doctor go to a country where is money can buy position and get a fleet of planes? Or better yet, buy his kids Toyota Coups that can be modified to go fast without drawing attention. His kids aren't teenagers, they are at least a century old and the thrill of fast driving should be long past them.* It just creates the gossip they are trying to avoid.

Out of the car Edward and Bella run into Jessica who is holding Bella's jacket from the previous night. This is off topic, but warrants a wtf so I mention it here, "Good morning, Jessica,' Edward said politely. It wasn't his fault that his voice was so irresistible."

That's not out of context either. Prior to the sentence Jessica handed the jacket over without saying anything. What is so irresistible about his voice, the fact that Jessica heard it? Evolution has designed our ears so that we can never shut them off, I don't understand what Jessica couldn't resist aside from hearing him.

Edward reads Jessica's mind and figures out that Jessica is going to ambush Bella with a series of questions regarding the two of them. Did he really need his magic vampire powers to know this given that Bella ditched her friends to have dinner with him the previous night and then she shows up with him at school? There is no way she wasn't going to ask some questions about it. It does make me wonder which is the bigger idiot, Edward for thinking that Bella needed to know that priceless tidbit or Bella if she did really need to know something that even captain obvious would find too apparent to mention?

Edward refrains from mentioning anything else in Jessica's mind which Bella finds unfair. I would think so to if my friend could read minds and refused to share that information. Again, the information shouldn't be that hard to discern, she wants to know why it looks like the two of them are dating. For an idiot this might be difficult but we must remember that Bella has told us how smart she is, and I know that sometimes smart people can be oblivious but this isn't that--it's inconsistent, the more this happens the less we can trust Bella which is bad because she is the narrator of the story.

Bella does show some intelligence though in dealing with Edward's ability. She knows that Ed can't read her mind, so in order to figure out what she is thinking he's going to read Jessica's mind for what Bella has told her. This is proof of her intelligence, she sees the phone tree and realizes how to work it. She can lie to Jessica so that Edward will hear it. It's an indirect way of communicating but it's the same way I got one of my aunts to stop sending me glurch** emails. A bit passive-aggressive to be sure, but effective enough where I no longer spend five minutes of my day deleting my inbox.

Bella and Jessica gossip instead of paying attention to class. Normal behavior and well written, it's one of the few times in the book that you get the impression of realism in the writing. The two girls can't stop gushing over their relationships unable to focus on school. It's cute and very well done. What is also nice is that it shows that Bella does finally admit that she has friends in this school. She can no longer be the "lonely loner" dishing about Jessica/Mike and her relationship with Edward. It seems like she's going to make it as a normal person after all...but like all sparks it will burn itself out, her character is such that it must.
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*At least since the 1960s.

**You know the type that aunts always send you.

Subjugation (Pgs. 179-197)

We are backtracking a little bit this week because two issues popped up during the last section and due to space constrictions* I felt that I would break it up into two posts. Sometimes doing these only once a week can be quite frustrating. The first issue was obviously the vampire powers that Edward possesses, I deemed that more important because the great nerd rage over Meyer's work is partly based on the fact that these aren't real Vampires...as opposed to the "real vampires" that actually exist.

The second post concerns the new revelation of Edward's stalking of Bella. So many people seem to idolize their relationship** that it's very troubling to me to see his actions toward her being deemed not only acceptable but desirable. Simply described this relationship is not based on mutual respect. The surest sign of this is that Edward behaves like a controlling abusive boyfriend by constantly reminding Bella that she is in danger and will surely be in mortal danger without his presence. Another is that the entire relationship is dictated by him, if you take a look at the sections we've read so far you'll notice that every conversation and action is on his fiat. He gives permission for her to ask questions, he determines when they will interact, ask yourself this: when does she determine anything in spite of his wishes?

We are back in the car driving from Port Angeles to Forks, and Edward has consented to answering a couple of questions after the absurd accusation and confirmation of ESP. He's permitted Bella to ask a couple of questions, which is odd in itself since what he is telling her would necessitate that she ask many follow ups. She asks the question regarding why he can't read her mind and, "he sighed."

See what I mean? He sighs impatiently like she's pestering him with questions about some trivial matter that she's making up in her head...the waitress from earlier perhaps, however since she is asking him about an ability that he possesses on everyone on the planet but her the question should have been anticipated. This might be excusable if he were actually 17 and not over a century old. This may, in fact, be the problem with the legions of fans of the relationship between the two. At seventeen we might cut a boy some slack because hormones are driving their actions, but at a certain point it ends, and certainly after a century he should behave somewhat better toward women.

The relationship has never been that good to begin with. Edward makes it worse by reminding Bella that he's her guardian angel, only Edward can keep her safe, not even Bella can stay out of trouble without him. This sets up a one-way dependence relationship where if she begins to believe it (and she does) she will begin to understand that she's completely helpless without him. This is the same mentality that keeps abused women going back to their husbands/boyfriends. Defenders might comment that Edward is correct, he has saved Bella twice so far.

That might be the case, we know that he did save her from the car accident. We don't know what the four men were planning but up until Edward pulled up, all they had done was harass her. Yet, Edward reinforces the danger Bella is in by driving excessively fast. When she freaks out he explains that he's never been in an accident nor ever gotten a ticket. That's not the point though, the point is that Bella is obviously scared, Edward in true form argues before slowing down to 80. Every chance he gets Edward reminds her that she's in danger and that it is only his will keeping her alive. He keeps her in a state of subjugation.

What's worse is that she makes excuses for him, "Your eyes. I told you I had a theory...I've noticed that people-men in particular-are crabbier when they're hungry." He's not angry because she's asking questions, it's because he's hungry...silly blogger, I guess I have the whole thing wrong. Men get upset when they are hungry, not because some silly girl is asking pertinent questions about the nature of their being. Edward doesn't need to relax, he needs to eat...which is worse considering what it is that he eats.

Edward goes on to reinforce his role in their relationship, "I suppose, being you, it could have been much worse--and that possibility tormented me the entire time I was away." He feels panged when he's not around her to protect her from herself. That is the "it" that he is referring to? The fact that she fell and scraped her hand a tiny bit. Something that was deemed to be of so little importance to Bella, that this is the first time that she is mentioning it. I don't know what scenario he's envisioning but unless her fall took place while she was walking on coals while juggling running chainsaws I don't think that it really could have been much worse.

Edward then moves back to the much more dangerous situation of the four men. Bella didn't run because she was trying to remember how to fight off an assailant, her brilliant plan, "I was going to smash his nose into his brain."

Which is a profoundly bad idea for two important reasons. The first is despite what we all learned from the movie "The Last Boyscout" it isn't actually possible. The nose isn't made of bone, it's made of cartilage, a substance that is significantly weaker than bone and tends to snap instead of driving like a nail into the gushy brain anyway. Breaking the nose is a good defensive move since it bleeds a good deal and will cloud the other person's vision as their eyes reflexively water up. It won't be fatal though. The other reason is that unless she was going to perform the maneuver in rapid succession four times in a row she was still in danger. Probably more so, after harming one of the attackers, as the awe factor would last approximately a second before one them grabbed her.

Another minor reason that this was a bad idea, is that Bella would have to overcome that clumsiness that she always reminds us of. Making a decent upward palm strike on an attacker is an action that requires coordination from a person that can't play Badminton without falling down. In no way was Bella going to get out of this by herself. However, it is noteworthy that she at least had enough confidence to come up with something. The trouble is that Edward showed up and she didn't have to assert herself in anyway.

Before she gets out of the car, Bella is told to take Edward's jacket. He doesn't want her to catch a cold, it's a nice sentiment and odd coming from someone that has been reminding (and then proving although not in the way he intended) that he's dangerous. I wonder what the gesture is motivated by, in Psychology one of the things we learned about sociopathy is that those people pay out like slot machines. They are good every so often making their victims think that there is some hope, Bella's repeating over and over again to herself and to Edward throughout the book thus far that, "he's not bad" is illustrative that this method has already worked on her.

The next day Bella awakes, her father gone, and she notices that Edward is in the driveway waiting for her in his shiny Volvo. He asks her if she would like to ride in his car to school. I wonder if this is Mormon second base, but he does ask which is a nice change of pace from his usual orders.

Maybe I'm being hard too hard on the whole thing. She's young, he's playing a seventeen year old, and this is how some teenage relationships are without ever turning into actual abuse. Surely the overly intelligent Bella, fan of Jane Austen, the girl who viewed Chaucer and Shakespeare as basic, who had to turn to books in Arizona because she was such a social outcast would see the signs and determine what she was getting used to. She couldn't willingly engage in a dominating relationship, she knows better right?

 "He was really giving me a choice--I was free to refuse,"

Since this is viewed by her as a surprise, I guess she doesn't.
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*i.e. I can only make these posts so long before people stop reading and just start skimming.

**Do a google search on Twilight and take a gander at some of the websites. You'll see what I mean.

The Powers that Be (Pg. 176-188)

This section is a lot like the final Episode of Lost is going to be: it's satisfactory which disappoints in a way because I wanted so much more. I don't know exactly what I wanted so I'm not too disappointed but the feeling is still there. We are still in Port Angeles, where it is revealed that Edward is a stalker. Following Bella to keep her safe from the inevitable danger that surrounds her even though she's only been in two dangerous scenarios (and that's being generous).

It's been established that Edward has telepathic vampire powers. Instead of playing with the powers Bella goes on to be jealous of every woman that is smiling at Edward at the Italian Restaurant where they are eating. What I don't understand, and it is a continual complaint regarding her, is why she claims that she is so smart and inquisitive when she doesn't express a single characteristic of that personality type. Let's take a look at this ESP.

Bella basically tells Edward that he has it, it makes no sense that she would draw this conclusion, but he confirms it anyway because he is such a good secret keeper. Instead of following up with some obvious questions she just accepts it and moves on. For example when they leave the table Edward pays the waitress setting up an obvious inquiry line for Bella: "He didn't look away from me as he thanked her. I suppressed a smile."

Bella is suspicious of the waitress because she thinks that the woman, who needs to smile and be friendly so that she is tipped well, has the hots for Edward. Instead of asking Edward to read her mind she just smiles because he possibly snubbed her. Anything to display the powers that he has would work here, but Bella, just isn't as inquisitive or intelligent as she would like us to think she is (it bears repeating...often). A normal person, when confronted with the claim of ESP would seek to test it, the more intelligent the person is the more they are going to be skeptical and ask for proof. Blind acceptance isn't a trait that Bella should have if we are to believe her.

The whole section is about Edward's powers and it's done as a "tell" violating the rule of "show don't tell" that anyone who has taken a creative writing class should know. In this case, I'll leap to Meyer's defense since she has to explain Edward's nature in the confines of a restaurant and then a car, so most of it works. It's not bad writing, but it's not great writing either; it's competent which is much more than I was led to expect before I began this project.

Leaving the restaurant, Edward in an unusual display of courtesy opens the door of his car to let Bella in. He shuts the door and walks around the front, "I watched him walk around the front of the car, amazed, yet again, by how graceful he was."

Here is where Meyer should be following the "show don't tell" rule. Edward is walking a maximum of 7 feet what kind of grace can he exhibit? More importantly, why is he so graceful? I don't know how people walked one hundred years ago but I can't imagine that it was any different than it is now. What is also important is whether or not Bella unlocked his door for him, or even tried. This is a rule explained by Sonny in the movie A Bronx Tale. You let the girl in, and walk around the car, if she has unlocked the door she is a keeper*, if not she's selfish and you should dump her.

In the car, Bella grills Edward more about the telepathy, "'How does it work-the mind reading thing? Can you read anybody's mind, anywhere? How do you do it? Can the rest of your family...?' I felt silly asking for clarification on make-believe."

The questions are very pertinent, although the timing is completely wrong. She asks them in the car on the way back to Forks. Again, the restaurant would have been better. I would also like to know if he could read an Infant's mind, since it would settle an old philosophical debate concerning Rationalism v. Empiricism. The explanation he gives is good. He explains that, "It's a little like being in a huge hall filled with people, everyone talking at once."

It reminds me of an episode of Star Trek: The Next Genertaion, where the most useless person on the bridge, Troi, takes in a Betazoid prodigy who has been telepathic since birth and is unable to shut out the voices (Season 3: Tin Man). Edward just lets them buzz around like white noise, something it doesn't seem that the inept Troi** ever suggested.

The next line of inquiry is pretty relevant too, Bella wants to know why Edward can't read her mind. Again, Edward explains it well as a guess, he thinks that Bella's brain is different and it's like her's is on Am but he only gets FM. Nice explanation but Bella takes it the wrong way, "My mind doesn't work right? I'm a freak?' The words bothered me more than they should--probably because his speculation hit home. I'd always suspected as much, and it embarrassed me to have it confirmed."

Well unless by "freak" Bella means, falsely superior, lacking all confidence, prone to lying to itself, then yes, she's a freak. This is all based on Edward's guess, and we can assume this is the first time he's encountered it. If he hasn't then in a hundred more years he'll probably have a better one for the girl he's stalking then. The other thing is that Bella has so far been spending her time bragging about how different she is, then becomes upset when that is confirmed. It further adds to the confusion as to whether I'm supposed to identify or pity her, instead leading me to being disgusted with her.

Aside from the ridiculous, but apparently true, theory of Edward's telepathy Bella has the theory that he's a vampire. She confesses the whole story to him, which is unnecessarily summarized, although she does skip the part about the internet research (as would I). Edward doesn't reply to any of it but it's unclear whether this is out of loyalty to his family, embarrassment, or reluctance to admit his essence. All we know is that his knuckles tightened around the steering wheel.***

So finally, the nature of Meyer's vampire: burning in the sun? "Myth." Which is fine, because Stoker's Dracula walked in the daylight as well. It's addressed in Francis Ford Coppola's Dracula that this is not true either but that the powers of the vampire diminish.

Sleeping in a coffin? Again this is wrong, but not in the way you are thinking. These vampires don't sleep at all. I will give her credit for this, because it's at least creative. However Bella has the ability of the Warren Commission to ask follow up questions the most obvious being, "So what do you do all day?" As it is literally, all day. He should be incredibly intelligent, pop-culture savvy, or his gamerscore on XBOX Live is through the roof. Having all that extra time doesn't seem to be helping him any, unless that's how long it takes him to get ready for school.

"You aren't concerned about my diet?' he asked sarcastically." I don't get the adverb in that sentence. For someone who is so concerned about her safety, this shouldn't be a glib comment. She isn't, because she's already decided he's the one despite the fact that his personality reminds me of Ted Bundy and he is a blood drinker.

Since this is a modern Vampire story, we have to do away with the Vampire preys on humans angle because so many people, especially the book's intended audience, actually want to be Vampires without all the mess of having to eat people. They can live off of animal blood, well that is still life they are leaching so it's not so bad and what I do like is how he explains the difference, "I can't be sure, of course, but I'd compare it to living on tofu and soy milk."

So refraining from drinking human blood is like being a vegetarian? Does this mean that the other Vampires in the world regard the Cullens as smug, pretentious, holier-than-thou douche bags who ruin every meal they are invited to? Probably, I'll bet that Volvo has an Apple sticker on the back as well.

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*It actually is a good indicator, in my experience. Although I do amend the rule so that it is whether or not she attempts to unlock the door. It can be hard to find the button nowadays and you can't fault anyone for that.

**Before you Trekkies go all crazy on me let me ask you this: has she ever contributed anything to an episode other than stating the completely obvious?

***He does get upset, but I'm saving that for next week because there is a larger issue concerning his stalking present along with it.

Writing out of the Corner (Pg. 164-176)

Last week we discussed the deus ex machina of Edward showing up to save Bella. I only offer that summary because we left off with the corner that Meyer had written herself into and now she has to write her way out of it, the only way that I can see this happening is that she must begin to reveal to Bella who Edward is this I am terming the "big deal." The "big deal" is the only way that Meyer can write herself out of the corner of having Edward show up at this most fortunate of times. I said last week that his appearance is so fortuitous that it would make Aristotle roll his eyes in contempt. Only the Greek gods have this kind of prescience so let's see how this plays itself out.

We're in the tourist town of Port Angeles and Bella has just dove into Edward's Volvo speeding away from what, at best, was going to be a mugging. He is quiet while Bella is in the car. After ordering her to put on her seat belt he doesn't ask her how she is doing. No, instead, he tells her to distract him. What follows is the best bit of unintentional dating advice for young girls that this book has so far offered, "Sometimes I have a problem with my temper, Bella.' He was whispering, too, and as he stared out the window his eyes narrowed into slits. 'But it wouldn't be helpful for me to turn around and hunt down those...'" [Ellipses authors]

Ladies, if ever a guy tells you that he has a problem with his temper, run away. It's a complete deal breaker, it doesn't make him the cool type of dangerous it makes him the dangerous type of dangerous. What's odd about his comment is that all the four boys are guilty of thus far is harassment. They may have frightened Bella, but that's it. If Edward did go hunting them down, he would be prosecuted for murder and my legal knowledge (gleaned from watching too many reruns of Law and Order) tells me that he might be able to plead it down to manslaughter if he did it right away, but that would still be four counts probably run consecutively.

The temper comment isn't revelatory. We know he has a temper from his other actions. So far, Dreamy McVampire has ordered Bella around several times and he refuses 'no' as a response for anything that he asks. The only difference is that now he's admitting it, but Bella isn't seeing the warning signs despite her supposed superior intelligence. Being frightened of her four alleged attackers it's understandable that she doesn't question Edward's desire to hunt them down, she could be theorizing that he just wants to beat them up, but we know better.

Edward takes her back to her friends at the restaurant, who despite being worried over their missing third have decided to sit down and have a nice dinner. I wonder how the conversation would have went: "I wonder where Bella is?" Jessica asked while absently twirling linguine on her fork.
"I don't know, but do you think that Mike and you are going to be an item?" Angela replied wishing that she had her fake ID with her.

Normally I would write three or four paragraphs on how the two should have acted. But given the fact that Bella has shown them very little concern for their lives it becomes almost consistent that they should do the same. When Bella shows up with Edward, they don't even ask where he came from. The do give an inquiry into where she's been, but then let it drop as Edward decides that he's going to give Bella the ride back to Forks. Jessica and Angela, probably think they are being traded up. She's going to ditch them for some alone time with Edward. A guy would suffer for this, his friends would let him go but then give him a substantial amount of grief for doing so.

The restaurant scene is strange. Because there is a lot of nothing that happens, which Bella regards as significant. In hindsight some of it is, but Bella can't know that as long as her theory remains unconfirmed. Edward draws the eye of both the hostess and the waitress, which in turn draws out Bella's jealousy. If these two get together she's going to be a problem, suspicious of every woman that looks at Edward especially as she ages and they do not.*

Then there is the normal behavior Edward exhibits which Bella reads into. The hostess offers them a table, Edward refuses it asking for a booth for more privacy. Bella observes two things: the first is that she thinks Edward paid the hostess, the handshake tip that I've only done once. She then accuses him of "dazzling her" using his magic vampire powers to get the new table. Not only do the two things contradict each other, but there is the place itself. It can't be that busy necessitating him to do either. I don't fault Meyer here but her character. It's obvious these two kids are on a date, a dead restaurant wouldn't be reluctant to re-seat the lovebirds if they appear to be well behaved.

Bella, is falling prey to a condition that infects all conspiracy theorists, selective evidence awareness. She's already bought into the theory that Edward is a Vampire, and everything she observes must confirm that theory or else it isn't worth it. Like the "truthers" and the mysterious C-130 flying over DC, it must have something to do with the plan. Edward refusing the table isn't that odd, but she crams it into her evidence then accuses him of it.

He takes it with no consideration. Perhaps he is so used to doing it, that he doesn't realize it. Then again, I don't think that he actually did anything but ask for a new table. Edward of course doesn't eat, Bella orders mushroom ravioli and the two begin talking. This is the beginning of what we have been waiting for, the big reveal, more importantly we should get our reason for Edward's sudden appearance.

"This is more complicated then I'd planned," Edward comments to no one in particular. Sure, he's talking at Bella but not to her. In this relationship Edward has all of the power. There is nothing that Bella can really offer him at this point except his attachment to her. This is probably a begrudging conversation on his part. Something that he doesn't want to do but feels that he might as well lest he hear about it later. He probably has the same feeling in his head that everyone has when they hear the words "we need to talk."

Bella, as usual, cuts to the point, what is unusual is that her first questions isn't full of self deprecation, "Why are you in Port Angeles?"

It's the most obvious question, it's the most relevant, and for my part, it's really the one that I want to know too. Edward, as established, is not a good liar because he responds by telling her to skip that one and go to the next question. Almost a century old and he can't say something like, "I was looking for a new suit," he obviously has lived in the woods too long.

Bella reluctantly agrees then goes on with a comment so out of the blue the font might as well be written in it, "Let's say, hypothetically of course, that...someone...could know what people were thinking, read minds, you know ---with a few expections.'

As we say on the internet, WTF? Ah, telepathy, is there anything a vampire can't do? Edward, inexplicably plays along. Beyond being an as-yet-unconfirmed-vampire this accusation of Edward's super powers doesn't even make sense. If we take Dracula to be the prime mover for Vampires, and move forward from there, ESP doesn't fit. I know that some Vampire literature has it, I believe Lestat was able to read minds in the Ann Rice universe, but it's entirely rare. And it's too convenient.

Yet, it's really the only way that Meyer can get Edward to save Bella at this particular point. Even that doesn't explain it fully, "I followed you to Port Angeles,' he admitted, speaking in a rush. 'I've never tried to keep a specific person alive before, and it's much more troublesome than I would have believed. But that's probably just because it's you. Ordinary people seem to make it through the day without so many catastrophes."

It's a repeat of the problem with 80's romantic comedies, that the stalker eventually wins the girl. Even Bella wonders about it too, but secretly she's flattered by the attention (guys: it only works in fiction). What I don't like, because the stalking doesn't bother me since I already don't like Edward, is that it's such a cheap way out of the corner for Meyer. He was in Port Angeles because he's been following Bella. Why, because she's a trouble magnet. Which we know, because Edward's saying it right now. So far Bella has almost been in a car accident, and then...she was harassed. So far that's it.

Having established that Edward can read minds we know that he knew what the four harassers were thinking. What, however does that prove? Roger Ebert, in his review of the deplorable movie The Dream Catcher, wondered about a movie that would deal with the real experiences of a telepath. Most people have desires, thoughts, that are normal but once in awhile they get...odd. Or are evidence of an animal desire that the rational human brain overwhelms. If you throw a punch in anger the thought may be just to hurt the other person but the Id may desire that person's death. It doesn't mean that you are going to kill the person, or that you even want to only that for a brief minutia of an instance the desire was there. Only German Philosopher Immanuelle Kant could hold a person to moral culpability based on latent intention in their action. Then again this book comes from a tradition where a person is guilty of adultery if they find another person "sexy."**

Edward, reading the thoughts of the four perceives an animalistic desire that probably went beyond what they were actually going to do. In any case, Bella is hardly a trouble magnet. Having had been in one dangerous instance and one that could have possibly been dangerous but was at least frightening. So this is Meyer's explanation for Edward showing up without the benefit of a seeing stone of Numenor. Story-wise this means that Edward has to explain his true nature and we finally can get to the big reveal.

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*Like the often quoted line from Dazed and Confused, "I love highschool girls every year I get older and they stay the same age."

**The other thing about Edward's reaction is that he is guilty of the same thing, only he expresses his desire in words. If the four are guilty for thinking about murdering/raping Bella, Edward is as guilty for murdering them since he expresses his wish to hunt them down in the car and in the restaurant. I guess it doesn't matter because he is our hero though.

The Eagles are Coming! (Pg. 153-164)

Deus Ex Machina literally translates as "the hand of god." It's almost never good to hear someone describe a plot device as the hand of god. It comes to use as the author of a story is the god of the world they are writing. Literally they can do anything with their pen, and if they get stuck the ancient writers used to bring the actual gods in to solve the problem. Think of Homer and the Iliad where Athena literally grabs the hair of Achilles to stop him from slaying Agamemnon. Better yet the Eagles of Middle Earth, who show up always where there is no escape for heroes. Gandalf on the pinnacle of Orthanc, Frodo and Sam in the lava flow of Mt. Doom, the battle of five armies in The Hobbit, and since the Eagles are emissaries of the Valar they literally are a hand of god. To use this concept is cheating, because it means that no matter what problem the hero is in the author can just make up something to get them out.

I'm getting ahead of myself though, let's see what Bella does this time. Bella decides that she needs some girl time and takes a trip to Port Angeles to help her friends Angela and Jessica pick out dresses for the big dance. This isn't intrinsically odd, but there are some unusual tidbits here. The first concerns her in the department store as she is picking helping, "I encouraged her to go with the blue; why not play up the eyes?"

Why not? This is odd because up until now we don't have much of a read on Bella's fashion sense. This line makes it appear as though she is superior, yet again, to her friends. It's entirely devoid of context since the only times she has even remarked on clothing style is in noticing the impeccable style of the Cullens.

We are also made aware that Tyler is claiming that he is taking her to the prom. A two-fold issue because Prom is a late Spring thing and now it's approximately early Spring. This just means that the school really likes to keep the students in a busy schedule. The other thing is that Bella reacts to it with rage. Now, I've been in a situation similar involving a girl in college who was calling me her boyfriend when I barely knew the person. That elicited confusion on my part. To be fair, I don't know how a woman would react if the situation was reversed. Tyler's motive is obvious, he's still trying to make amends for almost pulverizing our intrepid protagonist. The news comes as a surprise to Bella, which is also odd because all of these people sit together at lunch and she knew nothing of this. None of other suitors (Mike and Eric) mentioned it to her. The school is so small but the people are so distant it seems.

The dresses and the all-important, all too mysterious to men, shoes are purchased (we really don't notice them ladies) so the girls decide to go to dinner. Sounds good? Well it doesn't work out. Bella needs some alone time and decides to travel to a book store that she is pretty sure exists in the town. I am not sure what Jessica and Angela are up to since they agree to meet in an hour but they go somewhere. This is where the story takes a sharp turn.

Bella walks around, "I had no trouble finding the bookstore, but it wasn't what I was looking for. The windows were full of crystals, dream-catchers..." she sees the hippy/Wiccan owner decides against it, "I decided that was one conversation that I could skip." In Toledo there used to be one of those shops at the corner of Secor and Central near the Beaner's coffee shop. These types of places are not bookstores even if that's what they call themselves, they are New Age shops. You will find a Philosophy section but it's not Philosophy it's Deepak Chopra, The Secret type of bullshit. The shelves are lined with books on Tarot, Faries, Magic (although with the alternate spelling "magick"). The queer thing about it is that this should be exact type of place Bella needs to visit. There aren't going to be many other places where she could find rows of books on the supernatural, even finding a book on Vampires that will undoubtedly cast them in a good light. I would have skipped it as well, but I don't believe in Vampires.

"I decided to turn East at the next corner, and then loop around after a few blocks..." Our hero makes a series of stupid decisions. The first is to wander around looking for another bookstore that may not actually exist, it would be nice if we knew what she was looking for but since we don't we just follow her around. Instead of staying in the tourist shopping district she wanders in one direction well past the point where the stores are. Then she sees a group of four men that frighten her but she decides to walk past them. That's stupid decision number 2. Her instincts told her to not associate with Anime Eric but now in real danger she decides to toughen up?

Two of the four people are behind her and she is spooked. Meyer does a good job creating the tension. Bella is genuinely frightened and it comes off very well in the writing. Especially with the objection that I would normally have. One of the men cat calls her and then later she notices two of them behind her. Normally I would ask why she was scared, even Bella does so, "Breathe, I had to remind myself. You don't know they're following you."

Excellent. I've walked through some dangerous areas before with people behind me (downtown Detroit was an interesting one), this thought ran through my brain multiple times. People do have places to go that may or may not have anything to do with you. Her initial thought to save herself is to jump in front of a car, I'm not certain where that comes from since it is obviously going to be far more dangerous than she expects. Her paranoia abets itself when she notices that the two men behind her have increased their distance.

Her relief is short lived, "I realized then that I wasn't being followed. I was being herded."

She sees the remaining two in front of her, somehow they anticipated her direction. A completely lost woman, a strange town, and they have expertly pushed her into a trap. A trap, that seems completely unnecessary as she walked right by the four of them on an isolated street earlier.

We don't know what they were planning, we can assume, like Bella, that at the very least they are going to rob her. Bella made a couple of stupid decisions but we're not going to blame the victim. Her fear and the whole situation is extremely well written, conveying both her fear and the attempts of her mind to solve the situation. Her self-deprecation is not only justified here it lends more credibility to her status as a character. She claims that she has no self-confidence and for the first time it appears to be genuine.

As the tension begins to boil and as soon as it does Edward shows up in his Volvo. All of the sudden he comes to her rescue. It was good in the parking lot of the school because it made sense that Edward would be there. In Port Angeles, away from her friends, on an obscure street away from the populated areas for Edward to just show up is going to take a good deal of explaining. Tolkien's Eagles are sent from the gods so it makes at least some sense that they show up in times of peril. Edward isn't the herald of the gods, Meyer has a nice corner to write herself out of.