Voting Ends, Now the Next Step From Here

The voting has ended, which is odd because I don't remember actually choosing to have a date where the voting ends. It must be a default setting or something. Anyway the winner is "book two I hear it gets much worse." Which is funny because it's almost like my readers want me to suffer or something. In fact that was the overwhelming majority taking in 76% of the vote, with stop and do the movie each taking 11%. Which if you do the math means that there is a 1% margin of error or the total votes.

So the blog and this Dantean journey will continue. For me the next step is going to be the finding of the book, for free, since I don't feel like paying for it. Hopefully the public library will have it and the librarian won't be the judging type as a 32 year old man checks out a book targeted towards teenage girls. Usually they don't seem to mind whatever I check out only that I bring them back on time, which is an oddly difficult thing for me to do even though I have email notifications and the library is only a couple of blocks away.

I will also do the movie for the first book at some point. Initially I was going to scrap the idea going along with the voting but it's on Showtime's airing cycle and I watched five minutes of it noticing a couple of things that the movie corrected from the book although I'm not exactly thrilled at having to look at Robert Pattison for two hours (is he supposed to be hot?).

The only trouble is that I don't have an idea of when I will begin. The temptation is to wait until I have at least two of my final papers done for school since those are infinitely more important than this and directly affect my future while this is a fun diversion.

As it stands I will be taking a month off from doing this, see where I stand in my classes and then, hopefully, begin anew. Since my paperback copy of Twilight contains the first chapter of the next book it won't be too much trouble to begin writing but I want to have a seamless transfer and not make people wait for updates if finding a free copy of the book is any difficulty. It is also possible that I may break down and buy it electronically for my Nook, if that's the case the page numbers will probably be different but I will make the attempt to be as precise as possible with where I am. This is important because it also factors into my school work as I am getting more and more books in the EPub format and there needs to be a standardized way of citation for academic papers.

So we retire from this for a month. I'll talk to you again in April.

The End (Pg. 1-498)

And we're done.

It's hard to recap this entire book given that I've so thoroughly looked at it, but rendering a final judgment is something that seems compulsory at this point. I just can't leave it at that last post. So what is left to say? I offer my opinions on the story, the writing, and the characters now that we have seen everything that they have to offer in this book.

Story: honestly, there isn't much of a story here. Especially when you consider the sheer size of the book. Almost five hundred pages and most of it is about a girl who comes to a strange new town and tries to find her place. Rather, tries to achieve the place that she thinks she deserves--but more about that later. The actual conflict is not about James and the three new vampires, it's about a the relationship between two people who are different. That's not much, but since most stories are about either a person coming into town or someone leaving town we have seen many variations done well. Concerning strictly the plot, we are left with something that is mediocre. If we further consider the target audience for the story, we are left with something that is a bit above average. Although that may be inaccurate as this is one of the few stories that I have read with this particular demographic in mind (the other was the Alchemist, although that concerned boys as well).

Writing: Stephanie Meyer has written a book. She's a first time novelist and now a hugely successful one at that. Is her praise deserved? Well, she struck a chord and for that she is to be commended. How many laptops in the world have someone's first draft of a novel that will never see the light of day? Probably too many, or too few depending on your point of view on such things. Although the story is rather trite, Meyer can write. She takes the time to do settings, and she does them really well. Her descriptions of places is easily the best writing in the book. From the tidal pools at the beach in the beginning to the forests I could see in my mind's eye where I was supposed to be. What she seems to lack is the ability to make likable characters, or fit in characters with particular problems and situations.

The vampire mythology developed here is an oddity, but it's not abhorrent. We can ignore what the nerds complain about because vampires aren't real, and even if they were this is still a story. The sparkling is lame, but worse than that it's unnecessary. It only serves to add a level of inconvenience which is pretty much ignored throughout the whole story anyway. The saliva though is problematic for the story because Bella has ingested enough of it that she should already be a vampire, unless Edward has perfected some method of dry kissing, which would be a whole other metaphor that I don't want to explore here. 

Characters: She has high school all wrong, missing the caste system and making everyone a bit too nice with the exception of some people who are mean to the new girl but their attitude as well as their persons are vanished from existence as soon as they are introduced. The cause of this is more of a mystery to me than anything else. I treated this subject ad nauseum a couple of times in the beginning of the project but it bears a light repeating here. She wants to treat Bella as the introverted ugly duckling, but then quickly makes every guy in the school want her (according to Edward's ESP). This contradiction isn't helping identification with the main character, either she is or she isn't attractive. Initially I thought I understood her personality type with her "too-cool-for-school" demeanor but it just never fit with her actions.

One of the biggest problems is just that: motivations don't fit actions. And not in the accidental fashion where a person intends the right thing and ends up doing the wrong thing. I mean that the actions any person takes in the book doesn't seem to follow from what they wish to accomplish. Bella agrees to do many things that she plainly tells us she doesn't want to do, like the trip to Port Angeles. She doesn't want to go to the dance but then she goes dress shopping? Sure one might reply that she went to be with Jessica and Angela but after a stop in one store she ditches them to find a book store. It just doesn't make sense. Although given that Bella is practically a sociopath it probably does.

The internet is abound with cries of how creepy Edward is, and he is given that he's over a hundred years old and likes to hang out with high school girls, but the relative lack of attacks on Bella is strange to me.* She forms no attachment to any person that she can't use for her own gain. No one that she interacts with is important, but only a step toward the goal of having that boyfriend Edward. The girl has no friends and it's not because of the traits that she thinks it to be, it's because she doesn't see other people as being important. Toward the end of the book, Alice, is probably the closest thing she has remaining to a friend and Bella never confides in her or talks to her about anything other than how she could be closer to Edward, or become a vampire.

The only person she regularly talks to, instead of at, is Edward. Yet all they talk about is how much they like each other, which is funny given his superiority complex and her willingness to be completely subservient to him. They are bad people who have a bad relationship and this is truly the worst feature of the book. Now, there are other bad people and other bad relationships in fiction. But the worst ones are supposed to be bad, it's done on purpose. Iago and Emilia are a bad couple and immoral people but they are villains held up for contempt. You aren't supposed to sit through the play Othello and think, wow I would love to date Iago. Yet in this movie no matter how controlling and creepy Edward gets, or how desperate and subservient Bella becomes you are supposed to like them together. Ladies, your worth isn't measured by whom you marry, in fact, you don't have to get married if you don't want to. This book teaches otherwise, the final message is that everything is disposable and transitory until you get that man that you want. After that, he's in charge so don't even worry about making decisions or having friends.

The only likable characters in this story are the ones we see so little of: Mike, Jacob, and Alice. Mike because I want to see how long he will pine after Bella before realizing that she's simply not worth it, Jacob for much the same reason, and Alice because she can see the future but somehow isn't bored by the present. The trouble is that the more we see of any one character the less we will like them so I guess this is the best we are going to do.

Finally, hating this book just isn't worth it. It's a bad book, but it's not that bad. I don't commend Meyer but I also don't condemn her either she's written a rather long novel here and for that she ought to be at least envied. Perhaps it gets better in the future. She just really needs to work on making Bella stronger and more compassionate, Edward less controlling and creepy, and not ruin those few side people.

Thanks for reading, it's been...something. 

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*Google search for "Bella Swan Bad Role Model" yields about 33,000 hits. "Edward Cullen Bad Role Model" yields 580,000

Jacob...(Pg. 488-498)

Part II, of our Epilogue continues at the surprise Prom as Bella must be thinking, "It just totally snuck up on me." Especially when you consider that Alice dressed her up, they got into a Limo, and Edward was wearing a tuxedo. I am so happy to almost be done with this idiot. I haven't seen the movie, but I will say this about Kristen Stewart: she couldn't have done any worse of a job with Bella than Hayden Christianson did with Anakin. When you've got a shitty character, there's only so much that acting can make up for it. Yet Bella being an utter idiot, was the focus of my criticism two weeks ago and hopefully we're past it now. Hopefully.

The Cullens are all in the gym dressed up, looking like gods among men, especially Rosalie in a tight red backless number. I wonder how many Proms that the Cullens have attended, and why they would keep going to them? Looking back, I don't even remember why I went to the ones that I did. It was like rehearsing for a party I was never going to attend in real life. Then they hand you a champagne glass and a beer stein but tell you that alcohol is off limits. If any guy is reading this about to enter into the age where you start going to these things, here's a bit of advice, find a classic style tuxedo. Something that James Bond would wear into a casino, and buy the damn thing! As a junior you will probably end up going to two proms at least, and this will save you money.

Edward dances with Bella, who reminds him and us, that she can't dance. We know, but you know what Bella? It doesn't matter anymore. The whole, clumsy-to-the-point-of-having-a-genetic-disorder-thing was a four hundred page set up so that your excuse for injuring your leg in the attack would be swallowed. Now that part is over, so we don't need this anymore. Please stop talking about it since everyone in town has apparently bit that improbable piece of BS. Although not everyone...

After a couple of dances, Jacob shows up at the Prom. Which is odd for a couple of reasons, first off he's dressed in a white tee shirt and a tie. To be fair, the tee shirt is long sleeved, but the image in our heads is pretty ludicrous. I don't know if it makes it better or worse if the tee shirt is a turtleneck. I guess Meyer wants to show that the Native kids live in some sort of poverty or are just that outside of social capacity, but he couldn't get a dress shirt? Jacob at least understands that he has to put on something nice. I'm not sure why Meyer makes his clothes like this, but there's something else too. Jacob does not go to school at Forks HS, he walks up to Edward and Bella alone, so he's not with anyone. Did he buy a ticket? If so, how? If not, why was he let in? Being let in is even stranger when you realize that Proms are Black Tie affairs and Jacob's attire doesn't even resonate on the Emily Post category list.

He asks to cut in, and Edward who having laid it out to Tyler earlier, lets him. This is uncharacteristic of Edward and reminds me of yet another Simpson's Episode (I think I've referenced at least ten so far), "Lady Bouvier's Lover," where Abe Simpson is dancing with Marge's Mom and Mr. Burns asks to cut in. Abe lets him, because I think at some point in time you couldn't refuse the cut in request. Why is Jacob there?

This is the question that Bella asks, where she should be asking, 'how is he there?' If you park at a high school and try and walk in the door with no reason to be there, you will be questioned by security. There is something more odd about Jacob though, "he must have grown a foot since the last time I'd seen him..."

Later, it's established that he's 6'2". I guess he is taller, but I'm not certain because we were never told how tall he was earlier. Not even in reference to Bella. Furthermore, how tall is Bella? These little details wouldn't matter normally, but since she's making big deal of his height it would be nice to know it now.

Jacob is at the prom because, "my dad paid me 20 bucks to come to your (Bella's) Prom." I suppose that Jacob didn't dress up because he gets the 20 either way. The whole crux of this "confrontation" is that Billy knows that Bella's full of shit story about her leg is full of shit. And Billy wants Jacob to tell Bella that, "we're watching."

Normally that would be creepy, but since Edward is already literally watching Bella sleep, it isn't. We know what Billy means too, Billy knows that the Cullens are vampires and they're going to watch out for them. The only thing that Billy doesn't know is that Edward didn't injure Bella. Either way, this whole thing is a set up for the second book. I just wonder if this epilogue was there in the first edition of the novel because this whole scene with Jacob only makes sense because there is another book with Jacob taking more of a role in the story. Then like a ghost Jacob is gone, returns Bella to her owner...errr boyfriend, Edward for another and last encounter with the worst couple in fiction.

Edward, still reeling from Bella's stupidity, asks her what she was expecting on the way to the prom. A good question, because that's what I was asking two weeks ago. However he can't just ask the question and does an annoying thing that I have overlooked the two of them do throughout the book. He asks her that if he asks her a question will she answer it. Which is stupid, because he could just ask and if she doesn't answer it he's no better off. What if she said 'no I won't answer it.' Does that mean he won't speak because in that case he ought to since the less these two say the better they come off. He asks and she answers, "I didn't think it would be some trite human thing...prom!"

"Human thing." She's still human but the phrase reveals more than she ought to. See, in the beginning of the book she saw the Cullens eating by themselves and wanted desperately to be a part of it. We could read it in her mind the way she jealously looked at them while forming plans to use her friends (which are mentioned as she waves down to them at the prom) in order to step up to their table. She already considers herself to be a vampire, and to have shed off the last remnants of her former life to be one of them. I think as a conclusion to this whole story this is the real metaphor.

I have heard people say that the story is about sex. That Edward loves Bella so much he won't defile her, while Bella loves him so much that she wants him to. All vampire stories have the sexual subtext, and frankly it would take really good writing to not have that in a vampire story. However, this story is really about how one girl sheds her entire identity, gives up her friends, family, and life for this one guy whom she will depend on for her entire existence and can't live without. Is that really the role model we want our daughters to have? That happiness is being attached to some male in an utter dependence role?

It's funny because what Bella was expecting was to be turned by Edward but Edward doesn't want to do it. Again people say that it's about love, but I disagree. She wants him forever and he won't do it even though he doesn't think his life is that bad. Sure he calls himself a monster but what exactly is so rueful about? None of the things that he should be, since those are all things that he could change: his personality, his treatment of Bella. Those could improve and they aren't symptomatic of being a Vampire. Just from being a sociopathic, controlling, soon-to-be-abusive boyfriend.

They dance again "and he leaned down to press his cold lips once more to my throat."

Actually for an end sentence that's not too bad.