Hulk Smash (Ch. 14)

Our hiatus lasted one week longer than I thought it would, but believe me, I would rather not have been doing this. I kid of course, it was a matter of necessity. My choice was either work on this or work on whether or not we ought to consider certain genetic diseases as vertical epidemics (we should). While this is much easier, that is more important.

We left off with a cliff hanger of sorts. Bella and Jacob made up, grinding what little tension there was in this book completely out, and are now going to meet up with the rest of the La Push gang. Jacob is now telepathic when he changes into a wolf, but only with other wolves. This is important because making every other character in the story telepathic allows us to solve inconvenient problems like plot development, or obstacles. Why worry when you can just solve every problem with magic? It's also important to remember that werewolves are like the Hulk, if they get angry you wouldn't like them too much.

The last point is rather silly, but in a story with psychic, prophetic vampires who am I to judge? Well, I'm me, and I'm judging. It's stupid and probably racist. Let's tackle that point right now. I can hardly be called a PC thug and despite my academic pursuits I'm not all that liberal. Don't get me wrong it's not that I don't land on the left side of things usually, but I would rather have a smaller government than a larger one and don't believe that gun control is a good idea. These are two big no nos on the left. All of that being written, I don't go looking for ways to accuse white people/white Christians for being racist. Bella (the reader by proxy) is supposed to prefer vampires to werewolves. Where the vampires are pale, stoic, reserved, and rich the werewolves are portrayed as being dark skinned, emotional, poor, and if their irrational nature gets the better of them they turn into monsters. If there were other werewolves who weren't Quileutes it wouldn't be a thing, but there aren't so it is.

Jacob and Bella meet the gang, who are not exactly happy that she has been brought into the secret. The gang isn't happy with Jacob, and one in particular "Jared or Paul" is really upset. What bothers me is that we don't know who it is, we, characteristically aren't given any description of the person. We just know who it could have been. And then we find out that it was Paul because Sam yells at him. I don't get why there is the confusion at first. I get that this a first person narrative and she didn't know at the time, but she isn't writing this as it happens. Possibly the night afterward, but just keep the character straight. Especially someone who is a side person that I doubt we will see again.

Either way, Jacob gets so angry that the gamma radiation stored in his blood transforms him. He leaps at Bella, "Halfway to the ground, there was a loud ripping noise, and the boy exploded. -Dark silver fur blew out from the boy, coalescing (? that's not the right word) into a shape more than five times his size--a massive, crouched shape ready to spring."

Why not just call the shape a "wolf?" That's trite, but seriously this is the first time we are seeing the transformation. I do like the sudden violence of it, rather than the tortured way it's depicted in movies like the Underworld series. What's important for us to note is that he "exploded."

Jacob in order to protect Bella explodes as well. The fight is briefly described and then Bella is shied away to go to Emily's. We don't know who Emily is, and it's not really explained. The remaining members of the gang describe Paul as being a loose cannon who loses his temper frequently, all that's missing is an older werewolf that's getting too old for this shit, so we can complete a cliche list. It's nice that they remember to bring clothes for them after they finish fighting. Which brings me to a complaint, Jacob already transformed earlier to telepathically communicate to the gang the information that Victoria was after Bella. Does this mean that Jacob was naked this whole time?

One of them seems surprised that Jacob brought his girlfriend into this, but why is he surprised? Just last chapter Jacob had done the telepathic communicating. All of these inconsistencies take place within five pages, it's a new record for our author.

Emily has cooked food for the men. At least Meyer's consistent on that, women do all of the cooking. The other thing women do in these stories is get abused by their men, "The right side of her face was scarred from hairline to chin by three thick, red lines, livid in color though they were long healed."

The happy family reunited they begin to talk shop. Jacob explains what Victoria wants, why she's been trying to get through the woods--revenge for James last year. Apparently there's some sort of turf treaty. The wolves can't attack vampires on Cullen territory unless they bite a human. Any vampire found on reservation territory is fair game. Victoria, and I suppose Laurent as well, have been stalking through the woods trying to get to Forks. This leads me to some geography question, does the reservation surround Forks? Not from what we know from the last book. They just have been stumbling into it perhaps. Or they are taking the Cullens' route thinking they were safe but then decided to kill the random people for fun. Perhaps they are unaware of the treaty which could make sense. No matter what, the bad vampires are pretty shitty at their job since they could just walk into Forks at night to seek Bella out and kill her.

Jared claims that they now have bait for the vampire. This is the most sensible thing that has happened thus far. It also leads to a plan that, unlike the Cullens' from last book actually seems reasonable. They are going to leave some holes in their patrol to try and draw Victoria in. Once in they will close the gap. It's very similar to the plan laid out in "The Seven Samurai," every fortress needs a good weakness said Kambei. The only trouble is that they have to divide up. Still it's a plan that makes sense, especially if Victoria doesn't realize how many of them there are. In a few days, it seems Embry will be a wolf too, so that will give them six.

Then Charlie shows up and the chapter ends with a trite conversation about Jacob's hair and how they made up. I still like the werewolves better than the vampires. Sam, actually lets Bella make a decision, which is more than the Cullens could accomplish. Despite the initial fighting over her, they do seem concerned with her well being. It seems that the wolves' violence toward women is only physical which could be better than the pyschological abuse that Edward inflicts on Bella. After last chapter I was ready to give up on this whole thing but now I'm a bit more conflicted as we have actually entered into what could be considered a plot.

Breaking Time

It's that time of year again, the time where a man's fancy turns to the carelessly lain burdens that he has placed upon himself and demands respite from weekly tasks. In other words, it's the end of the semester and I really have to work on papers. One for aesthetics, one for Levinas Seminar, and one for Metaphysics of Bio Ethics; and all of them due by the end (or mid) of next week at the latest. We'll resume next week when I need a break from writing the above three to learn about what passes for being an original gangsta in La Push.

The Wrong Kind of Monster (Pg. 300-322)

I know I've brought him up before, but of the most important philosophers in history one of them must be William of Okham. If only because you can ask a person "what's Okham's razor" and if they are even moderately read they will know what you are talking about. If they are well read they might even know that the "Okham" is a person. Either way they will know that the maxim of Okham's razor is that one should never make things more complicated than necessary. I'm not going to rag on Meyer for adding werewolves to her little world. Okham, was speaking about reality, and writing fiction doesn't apply--if only the author doesn't mess it up--no this is directed at Bella. Bella has no reason to think that Jacob is anything other than a human being.

Nothing, aside from a growth spurt, has been unusual about him. The stories about the werewolves from the mythology of his tribe he downplayed as being just mythology, something that the elders passed down. Somehow she divines werewolves from his hints, just as miraculously as she divined vampires even though she had no proof to go on.

We're now at the beach after a meaningless conversation at Jacob's house with his father. Jacob, in what always amounts to a high point for his character, is yelling at Bella for being a hypocrite. She's worried about Jacob because he's a werewolf and that bothers him, "Well, I'm so sorry that I can't be the right kind of monster for you, Bella. I guess I'm just not as great as a bloodsucker, am I?"

The mysterious voice of Edward returns to offer yet some more advice that it can't know to give.

The whole conversation is based on a misunderstanding. Bella thinks, rightfully, that Jacob and his pack (sigh) are killing the hikers. Jacob thinks Bella is upset because he turns into a wolf. It only gets settled because Jacob laughs it off and then explains that they don't kill people. That's right he laughs without explaining. It's one of the many problems in the book(s), we're set up with a genuine tense scene and then nothing becomes of it. Why not let her be mad for a couple of days forcing him or her to figure out what is really going on. Mystery would be a nice touch in a novel populated with mysterious beings. That would probably be a better book though.

The mystery with Laurent also gets settled as well, but that long ago left us because even a half assed reader could figure out what was going on with that one. It's curious that Bella gets upset because she thinks Jacob and his crew are murdering people but she was genuinely relieved when she saw Laurent who she knew murdered people, and also never really cared that Edward wanted to. Jacob explains a little more of his nature, "If I get too mad...too upset...you might get hurt."

Werewolves=The Incredible Hulk. I mean seriously, this is getting quite ridiculous. The parallels are there. Jacob is a normally decent person who refrains from getting angry, who visibly shakes when upset, but also turns into a larger than life being if it takes over? Please.

The murders are continuing, that we know. We also know why, without the explanation. That it's Victoria. Again, Meyer fired the gun too soon, this story could have been a genuinely interesting mystery about what was responsible for all the killings, but it's all been spoiled. The wolves have been hunting Victoria who has been hunting Bella. She tells Jacob this and then Jacob runs off for a second leaving a half conscious Bella alone on the beach. Alone, after finding out that a vampire has been desperately searching for her to fulfill some sort of revenge oath. Why did he run away? To communicate with the other wolves, not by howling, but by...ugh let's just have him tell it, "but we can hear thoughts...thoughts--each other's anyway--no matter how far from each other we are."

Another creature with telepathy. Is there anything that anything can't do in this story?

This is why I brought up Okham earlier. It's not that the story is getting too complex, it's just by piling on all these abilities it's getting too simplistic. How do the wolves communicate? telepathy. How do the vampires know how to prepare? Prophecy. How does Edward know Bella is in danger? telepathy. It serves to destroy any tension that could be brought to the story, at this point if anyone dies I'll just expect someone else to have a power to resurrect them. It's sad but the abusive relationship seemed to be the only thing that was actually tension worthy in the story, and you have no idea how hard it was to write that sentence out.

Wherein I lose All Respect for Jacob (Pg. 278-300)

Last week we ended on a relative high note as Jacob told off Bella, finally taking her advice to cease the torch carrying and move on with his life. I even praised him for it hoping that we finally had a real character doing something actual. I suppose one of the reasons that I like it so much is that it finally gives us what we've been told all along. Bella has repeatedly reminded us that she's not worth the affections of Edward, or anyone for that matter, yet every guy that comes along attaches himself to her so virulently that it doesn't match the words. We can forgive Jacob for him being so young which meant that last week's entry was well done because it not only finally matched Bella's opinion of herself but it also showed something that we haven't seen in this book yet, growth.

Unfortunately for every rise their must be a fall...

In her room Bella hears a scraping noise and immediately thinks of Victoria, curious that she doesn't think of Laurent given that she's actually seen him, but springing to life from bed she goes toward the noise. Suddenly she realizes that it's Jacob, which removes any sense of tension, plot, or growth that we read at the end of last chapter. How quickly everything disperses, negated to the democritean void. Before he is even in the room we know that he is here to apologize, and its utter bullshit. She might be mad but she is completely at fault. She was using him as a pseudo-rebound only to cast him away if even the most gossamer glimpse of Edward were to reappear.

Once in the room he actually does apologize. He's sorry he hurt her, but he had to because, "Sometimes loyalty gets in the way of what you want to do."

Bella's mistake was in looking for Jacob and finding him in front of his gang. Jacob's a straight gangsta now, and since the bitch be trippin,' makin him look like a buster in front of his homies he had to front. I tell ya, faithful readers, a gansta's life ain't fun.

Seriously that's his reason, although he says it a tad differently (but infinitely less amusing then the way I put it). Jacob has a secret, a new secret, but he can't tell anyone so this entire scene in Bella's bedroom makes no sense. He asks her to remember the stories he told her on the beach "the first day we met."

It actually wasn't the first time they met, they have both acknowledged that, but it's the first time we met them so I guess that counts? Great, now we have something new in this book: narrator/author confusion wherein Meyer as the author sometimes forgets that she's not the narrator. Ugh. Jacob gets frustrated because Bella can't remember the stories about the Quileutes, and frankly so am I. We know what Jacob's getting at, he's a damn werewolf, but Bella can't remember and Jacob won't tell her. Jacob's got that omerta code after all, but apparently dropping hints is somehow different that he won't fall under the "snitches get stitches" rule of gang life. I'm more impatient with Meyer on this one it's almost like she has to meet a page requirement or the editor will fail her. I'm kidding of course, because there is no way that an editor looked at this.

After deciding that Bella is too tired to listen to him, he exits the window. Bella is reminded of how nice it was when Edward creeped in to watch her sleep at night (seriously) but then Jacob is gone. Bella goes to sleep having her usual shitty dreams that are way too prescient to be real. Of course she wakes up screaming, and awaits her father to come in the room. He doesn't, he's probably fell asleep with his gun in his mouth again. More accurately he's probably getting sick of this happening every morning and has decided to ignore it. Finally Bella remembers the stories.

What follows is literally a page long flash back to the conversation from the last book. It doesn't need the entire context only the important bits about the wolves that turn into men.

"Werewolf,' I gasped."

Yeah, no shit. I'll give some credit where it's due because Bella really does question her world view. "What kind of a place was this? Could a world really exist where ancient legends went wandering around the borders of tiny insignificant towns, facing down mythical monsters? Did this mean every impossible fairy tale was grounded somewhere in absolute truth? Was there anything sane or normal at all, or was everything just magic and ghost stories?"

Well Bella, about those impossible fairy tales--you've already established you're an Intelligent Designer.* In all serious though, this is pretty good. It's curious that she doesn't go through this when she finds out about psychic vampires, or precognitive vampires. That's apparently normal, but werewolves? That's incredible.

WIth the knew knowledge of what Jacob is--eh, let's hold up here for a second. She doesn't actually know anything. Here belief that Edward was a vampire wasn't fixed in reality either. She just made up a bunch of assumptions and then concluded from that. Here she's doing even less than that, just going with a dream and then a story. That's not knowledge, although I guess it's a hypothesis since it can be tested.

She rushes out the door to see Jacob. Charlie stops her and in a situation totally ripped off of Jaws he warns Bella that a reward has been posted for the wolves' carcasses and that there's a lot of people with guns in the woods. Charlie leaves and Bella is conflicted. She wants to warn her father but she can't because...she never says. She does however know that Jacob is a werewolf, "I could feel it."

Feelings aren't evidence. Sorry folks but they simply aren't. Pseudo science feeds off of this notion that we are all experts because we think we are. As if reality changes because we think that crystals can heal cancer or whatever, but it doesn't. Just because Bella feels they are werewolves doesn't mean they are werewolves. That she happens to be right is immaterial to the message I'm trying to get across. She's worried because people will be shooting at her friend (legitimate concern). Then she goes off on this diatribe about how the werewolves had chosen a path of murder as opposed to the ones that didn't, i.e. the vampires. Yet, that doesn't match up with actual reality. In actual reality the werewolves didn't kill her, they chased off the one that was going to kill her. How much sense is this making?

______________________________

*Look, if she's going to soft ball me these insults I'm going to take them. At this point, it's really her fault.

Breaking Up (The New Moon Walkthrough Pg. 258-275)

This book is a good example of when a writer needs an editor. Like a paragraph a chapter should end when a completely new idea is about to begin. Page 258 represents the beginning of a new part of the plot that should not be lumped in with the previous dozen of pages. If we remember from last week, we dealt with the aftermath of Bella and the wolves. Now it's all about Jacob and maybe I'll understand what all that Team Jacob and Team Edward crap from a couple of years ago was all about. Our only problem is that Bella still hasn't heard from him.

 

She calls Jacob's house the next day, completely shrugging off any fear of the wolves, Laurent, or Victoria...like it never happened. If it were me, I would probably still have the shakes about the wolves, or at least the vampire who has promised me that i was going to die (depending on which one I thought won the battle the other day). Never mind that though, Bella has man trouble and from what we understand after the last book that is the only trouble worth discussing. She dials up the Blacks, "Jake's not here."

 

What's interesting is that she never once figures that she's being blown off. It's interesting because that's basically what she told us we ought to expect in the very beginning of the first book. It's also exactly what she told Jacob to do, the only thing is that Jacob didn't tell her he was cutting himself off from her. He's only 16 and fairly inexperienced so it's entirely within character that it ought to happen that way. The point is that Bella is confused that Jacob is doing the very thing she told him to do the last time she saw him. I'm going to say it again, the very last time she even talked to Jacob she told him that he ought to not waste his time on her. Perhaps he listened?

 

Instead of making this kind of rationalization and going to her job (remember her job?) she decides to go to the reservation to confront Jacob. Instead of Jacob she sees Quil,* "I was sure it was Quil, though he looked bigger than the last time I'd seen him...were they feeding them experimental growth hormone?"

 

Or you know, since it's been over a month since you've seen Quil it could just be puberty. We've never really gotten an age for Quil but it's not entirely unreasonable he would be different. What's also odd is that Bella has never paid attention to the details of a person's size or appearance unless they were Edward. Now all of the sudden she's a detective. Quil explains that Jacob has been hanging around with Sam lately meaning that Jacob's joined the La Push gang, although he refers to it as a cult. Which is something that we ought to note although we don't really know why we should note that. Just because Jacob was an outsider but now he's in doesn't prove anything.

 

Finally we get to Jacob seeing Bella in front of his house hanging out in her car. The first thing that Bella notices is that Jacob has cut his hair from the long pony tail to a short crew cut that is, "covering his head with an inky gloss like black satin."

 

I'm not sure what that means so we'll just skip over it.

 

There's a brief confrontation with Jacob and the gang which causes Bella to get angry as Jacob is no longer the sweet friendly guy that he once was. He's changed now, he's fierce and that makes Bella sad. She directs her rage against Sam thinking to herself, "I wanted to be a vampire.-The violent desire caught me off guard and knocked the wind out of me."

 

It caught her off guard? What part? The part where she wished to be the thing that she wished to become at the end of the last book and the beginning of this one? I swear the inconsistencies in this character are driving me to drink in the afternoon.

 

They were friends she pleads.

 

"We were," Jake replies apparently having taken the advice that she gave him earlier.

 

There's some more angry conversation where Bella touches Jacob causing him to shirk away. This gives Bella the impression that Sam is abusing the gang, it's unclear what she thinks is going on but she asks through her tears, "Is Sam catching?"

 

Now I've seen Oz enough to know that that means, but it can't mean what I think it does, right?

 

Jacob begins to walk away in which Bella tells him, "I'm sory that I couldn't...before...I wish I could change how I feel about you Jacob."

 

That kind of regret is nice but it's bullshit. She doesn't like him, she's been stringing him along. It's time for her to move on from the non-boyfriend that she was just hanging around with for the time until Edward returned. The problem for me is that I'm supposed to feel bad for her but I just can't. She's been using him and now that he's moved on I'm supposed to feel bad about it. Nah, that's now it works. She actually deserves this.

 

Bella goes home telling her dad what happened. Her father, because he's a decent human being who has a Harpy for a daughter, decides to call his friend and find out what was going on. Bella eavesdrops on the conversation making the conclusion that Billy blames Bella for what happened that, "I was leading Jacob on and he'd finally had enough."

 

Bella somehow views this with skepticism. Thus far that seems just about right, good for him.

 

_______________________________

*I actually get his name now, it's not that stupid IF it's merely a shortened form of his tribe Quelieutes.

Moving Along the Plot (The New Moon Walkthrough Pg. 246-257)

Another pet peeve of mine with fiction, and especially this fiction, is when a character does something entirely out of the ordinary or against character just to make sure that we the reader understand that the plot is moving forward. It's like breaking the fourth wall, only less on purpose. Think C3P0 in Star Wars, unless he is answering a request by another character his main role in the movie series is to remind us the movie viewer that the story is going forward or that there is some sort of obvious danger that we ought to be aware of. More often than not, he's utterly useless. Another good example is the ship's counselor in Star Trek: The Next Generation, Troi is mostly there to tell us what emotions we should be feeling but again, she's kind of useless. In this story it happens arbitrarily to so many different characters that it's impossible to really narrow down who we ought to be ignoring, so in the end we have to endure the eye-rollingly bad situations when it happens. It's odd because instead of just moving the story along, Meyer has to tell us that it's time to move the story along.

Bella has run out of the woods as five extremely large wolves have chased off Laurent. As she gets home she engages in some non-sensical banter with her father as he, I assume watches the game. Once he gets a good look at her he gets concerned, realistically concerned I might add. Then especially concerned when she explains that she was in the woods and she saw "the bear" that people have been reporting, only it wasn't a bear but five huge wolves. First off Meyer has this problem and it's a problem that I am all too familiar with: laziness. Here's what I mean, "The rangers said that the tracks were wrong for a bear--but wolves just don't get that big."

The laziness comes from Meyer's reluctance to do any superficial research whatsoever. This blog has kept a running tally of all the times she has neglected to do the research. Twenty years ago this would be kind of forgiveable, but unless I find out that she writes on anything but a computer it's just not. There is no way a forest ranger would let the chief of police assume it's a bear when the tracks are clearly wolf. Size doesn't matter if the track is a wolf track. As Hercule Poirot would say, if the facts don't fit the theory ditch the theory. Google it up, bear and wolf tracks aren't similar. The number of toes is your first clue.If it's a large wolf then it's a large wolf.

Bella actually does well here, because she lies about where she saw the wolves. It's a shitty lie because the Rangers will investigate and either won't find the tracks or will find the tracks in a different place but she does it for the right reasons. She's worried because she still thinks Laurent is out there and doesn't want to risk anyone's life. Once in awhile she seems to stumble upon a good deed. It's a nice scene because rarely do we get to see Charlie caring about his daughter without her snide remarks or false persecution.

Then the scene is ruined, "Didn't you say that Jacob was gone of the day?"

Huh?

Your daughter was just witness to five wolves that were so large that people have been thinking they were bears, she ran out of the woods scared to death, and this is the follow up question? But hold on it gets worse, "I could tell he was worried--watching me jump at any loud sound, or my face suddenly go white for no reason that he could see. From the questions he asked now and then, he seemed to blame the change on Jacob's continued absence."

How about this detective? Your daughter just had a near death experience. Now, it's not the near death experience that you think she had, but still...This is what I was talking about in the opening. After a genuinely tense scene with the wolves (ruined by the telepathic/memory voice of Edward) we are reminded that this is a story about Jacob and Bella. Bella, of course, being the female girls should aspire to simply because she feels that she is worthless without a man. There's alot of bullshit in this section about Laurent and Victoria. The troubling thing is that there is a really good subtext going on here that gets put on the backburner because we need to be reminded that there are vampires in the area and that Jacob hasn't been around.

Bella calls her dad because Jacob hasn't been around and she's worried about the La Push gang. Charlie doesn't care because Billy has vouched for Sam and Sam is generally a nice guy. Charlie though can't talk because he has police matters to deal with as two tourists have gone missing in the woods. Bella remarks, "What I'd seen in the meadow just got stranger and stranger--more impossible to understand."

She's referring to why Laurent ran from the wolves rather than kill them. We know that the vampires in this world hunt wolves, that's Edward's favorite I think (I'm not looking back to figure that out). Despite their size it shouldn't have been difficult for Laurnet to kill them. That's what's been occupying Bella's worries about Jacob and her father for the last ten pages. She figured that Laurent had fell back but nevertheless killed the wolves. Now that two people have just gone missing due to the wolves, she's puzzled. Frankly, I'm rather impressed that it even comes up at all.It would actually be a decent mystery if I didn't already know how it was going to be explained. I suppose all that's left now is for her to figure it out.

Present ( it's a tangent complaint)

We're back after a week off due to a sudden illness of sorts. We're not exactly moving forward in the plot because there is a device that our author is using that bothered me at first and in the latest encounter with the wolves really drives me nuts. It's the disembodied voice of Edward that Bella is hearing in her mind which is warning her to stay out of danger and giving her advice when she's actually in danger.

We can turn to that perennial source of wisdom for people of my generation and younger, "The Simpsons." In the eighth season there was an episode titled "El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer" or "The Mysterious Voyage of Homer," in which after eating some Gautemalan Insanity Peppers Homer hallucinates and is directed by a talking coyote voiced by Johnny Cash to find his soul mate. After waking up Homer hears the voice again and he tries to ask it a question. The voice replies, "I'm just your memory I can't give you any new information."

The parallel here is that the voice that Bella hears in her head of Edward can only be her memory. With that being stated, it is utterly impossible that this phenomenon can be giving her new advice. To be generous to the author, which is getting increasingly difficult lately, we can forgive his advice regarding two events of importance to the "plot." I'm hesitant to even make that claim because as we learned from the previous book the plot will take four hundred pages before we become aware of it and then it will dispense with itself in fifty.

These two instances are the motorcycle and the encounter with Laurent. If we accept that the voice she hears is merely her subconscious mind, or something similar, then it's easy to explain these two scenarios. She's putting herself in obvious danger and her brain is trying to tell her that she ought not to do that by summoning the only voice that she actually listens to. Which is pretty messed up, but at least consistent because she never hears the voice when she has been around Edward who is a much greater source of danger given everything we know of him...and that doesn't count the fact that he's some sort of vampire. In each case it's also new danger that she hears the voice, something she's never encountered while alone. This theory makes sense when we also note that in the other time that she rode the motorcycle it didn't appear. No voice because part of her is recognizing that the danger is no longer being perceived. It also explains why she heard it with Laurent, as she was around Laurent when he first appeared and when Laurent was feral. When Laurent reappears he presents the same danger as before.

What can't be explained is how the voice told her what to do around the large wolves. Danger, yes, that is perhaps why it appeared. What it said though cannot be explained without going outside of the story or violating yet another rule that the series has thus far established. Bella couldn't know how to act around the wolves (or, who are we kidding werewolves), so her subconscious couldn't know either. The only other explanation is that the voice is Edward's telepathically.

This explanation, if true, will make me give up reading these books. It's been established that Bella's brain doesn't work on the same frequency as other brains so Edward's special power of reading minds doesn't work. Maybe generous readers, fangirls, will give an explanation that communication and reading are two different things: if that's the case then how does he know she's in danger? Is he standing right there? Again, if that's the case the werewolves would have scented him or more importantly, what was he waiting for Laurent to strangle her?

My ability to suspend disbelief is being quite strained in this book already and this will be the last straw if it turns out to be actually Edward. So far we've had a number of established and then broken rules in this book. The vampires shine in sunlight but have no problem walking through crowded airports in the middle of the day in Arizona, vampirism gives special powers but Alice was psychic prior to being a vampire, saliva turns people into vampires but Bella and Edward have no trouble kissing, etc. It's not making sense and is really relegating certain elements of the story to being utterly arbitrary.

Which really leads us to threading the eye between Scylla and Charybdis. On the one hand we have a memory that can give new advice while on the other we have telepathic communication which violates a pretty important rule of the books so far: Bella's oh so specialness. Either case it's not looking good for the future.

Back to the plot next week.

Recycling (Pg. 229-246)

This is one time when I think that I will agree with the likes of Rush Limbaugh, recycling is a bad thing when it comes to plots. Once things are resolved they should be just that, resolved. Dredging up the past for the sake of convenience is not only boring but it also reminds you of all of the bad things from before. When we yearn for the past we are romanticizing it, forgetting the bad and only remembering the good.

For instance, in the last novel it took almost 300 pages to get to some actual tension. The meeting of the evil vampires. Looking back in my memory it would seem as though it was a highlight of an otherwise wearisome book. That doesn't mean that I want to relive the same shit from the past, because unromantically I remember that it was shitty. Unfortunately fate is a fickle mistress that likes to mess with you just because she can.

Before we get to that last week I had a criticism of Bella. It's pretty normal of me and this blog, but I mentioned how Bella is pretty dumb for wondering why Jacob hadn't called her when she was pretty explicit about not returning his affections and in fact never going to return his affections. Well if only I had turned the page last week, "He was taking my advice and not waste any more time on someone who couldn't return his feelings."

You get one point there Bella Swan, but the debt you're running is going to take forever to even up. Moving on.

Bella, upset about Jacob not calling lies to her father and decides to go and look for the meadow at the top of the forest herself. I suppose that her character could have grown, but if the experienced Jacob couldn't find the place it's pretty doubtful that the ignorant clumsy Bella could find it on her own. Except that her clumsiness isn't expressed once in the whole trip. Remember when Edward had to carry her because she couldn't make it without falling down? Yeah, me too.

Miraculously, she makes it just fine locating the meadow herself. It's been a year and it seems that nothing has changed. There is even a dark figure who steps out of the woods as she enters it herself. Who could it be?

"Laurent!' I cried in surprised pleasure."

We remember Laurent from the last book...and we're at the recycling. This is only book 2 of a series and there is roughly no reason to reintroduce a character that played no major role in the previous book. Sure he was part of the evil coven but he wasn't the evil one, that was James. Laurent had given the impression that he was going to convert to the vegetarianism of the Cullens going so far as even slap one of those apple stickers on his car (that's a joke for faithful readers with good memories). So why bring him back? It's lazy and cheap at this point. It's as bad as the fact that every iteration of Star Wars has to revisit Tatooine, it's a desert planet and it's not that interesting (they even say it in the first movie).

What's more puzzling is that Bella's reaction isn't one of mild fear or even hesitance but pleasure. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. She's so deluded that seeing a vampire, even an evil one, reminds her of her dear sweet Edward. It's so incredibly stupid. Visiting the place where they had their first kiss is also stupid, but it's heart broken stupid which is forgiveable. It's important to note that this is a reaction, she doesn't have time to think, 'oh it's Laurent and I shouldn't be scared but rather happy to see him because he reminds me of Edward for some reason.' It's the first thing she thinks of, it's her impression upon first image. That's pretty messed up.

The message here ladies is this: if a group of people try and kill you and your boyfriend saves you by murdering one them, but later you meet one of the survivors you should be happy because that person reminds you of your boyfriend.

But wait there's more. Seeing Laurent sends Bella into some kind of nostalgia. Laurent apparently was a convert moving to Alaska to live with another vegetarian family up there, this memory forces her to think about the Cullens: "The other family like...but I couldn't let myself think the name." Later it occurs again but this time she allows herself to think it "I'd begun to picture him, on the rare occasions that I thought of him at all, with the same golden eyes that the...Cullens-I forced the name out, wincing--had."

Both of these are internal monologues, and she winces at them? She's not talking to anyone and the thoughts of a person don't change much if you don't use their name. What is she trying to do, not summon them? And who thinks occasionally of a friend of the person that tried to kill them? Idiot.

What's worse is that Laurent doesn't just look the same, but exactly the same. Meaning that he looks at Bella like she's food, Laurent hadn't changed, he met up with Victoria who is going to be upset, "about me killing you."

So Laurent, the person who thought that the Cullens had it good, actually lived in Alaska with the other vegetarians, is now suddenly an evil vampire once again. I get that sometimes people don't change, actually it's most of the time, but these two people put an entire country between them and somehow Laurent can't help but run into her. Why not bring us a new character or have Victoria be the one who returns. Laurent is there at her behest, why bring in a middle man. It's not like stealth seems to be his modus operandi, if the Cullens were there he would have been found and interrogated or just straight up murdered.

Just as Laurent is about to eat her, out comes the saving hand of the divine. A wolf so large and dire that it was the creature being mistaken for the bear in the woods. Laurent is afraid of it, and for once we actually get a good scene because Bella admits that she doesn't know what the hell is going on. She wants to know why Laurent is afraid, I mean they're wolves but he's a vampire. He should be able to annihilate them. Her questions make sense, her anxiety makes sense but the wolves don't seem to care about her at all. The trouble is that the situation presented is better than the writing of it. Bella is just too whiny and too enthralled with the voice of Edward in her head to make it work. Which is odd because the voice in her head has to be a memory, Edward's telepathy doesn't work on her, but somehow the memory is able to give new information for new, completely unique situations. If the voice never appeared the scene would have been good.

I should mention that there are five of them, and how many people were getting approached by the La Push gang (A French Rapper if I've ever hear of one*)? Two (Jacob and Embry), plus the three original members. We know where this is going.

Subtlety cannot be made with a hammer.

________________________________
*Not my joke, but a commenter on the wordpress version of this blog made it.

Narcissism (Pg. 225-228)

"Jacob didn't call."

Jake not calling is a big deal, but I wonder why it is for Bella. I say it's a big deal because we know that he is infatuated with Bella from last chapter and since they have been spending so much time together him not calling is odd. It's especially odd since he told her that he would call, and the sickness that everyone had seemed to pass over in a day. Could Bella be showing signs of humanity in her narcissistic worldview? Perhaps. We should note that this is the first sign of actual concern for another human being that she has. It's entirely altruistic, concerned with the other person without referring it back to herself or how her life would be affected.

Bella calls a couple of times and is not able to get through. She then has her dad call Harry Clearwater, friend of Billy's, to find out what is going on. From this circular route, which is a reasonable way of going about things I suppose, we find out three things: 1) Harry has been in the hospital for some kind of heart thing. 2) The phone lines have been messed up on the Reservation so that's why Bella hasn't been able to get through. 3) Jacob has mononucleosis.

Number 2, seems like a lame story but we must remember that this is the next day. The phones being down could just be a coincidence although phone companies do tend to put up a recording informing of the problem. The fact that Jacob has mono (or is claimed to have mono), explains some of his symptoms. I've saved the first thing for last, Harry's heart problem because of the reaction Bella has to it:

"Charlie was too worried about Harry. That was clearly the more important issue--it wouldn't be right to bug him with my lesser concerns."

This leads us to a discussion about one of the main problems with this book, and the last one. That of artificial tension between characters. Tension ought to arise from natural personality conflicts, or competing mutual desires ala Thomas Hobbes. For instance we understand that tension between Mike and Jacob at the movies last chapter because they both, for some reason, want Bella. It makes sense, it's identifiable, etc. The problem with this series thus far is that we know that there is tension between two characters because we are told there is tension, without any evidence for it. Furthermore, Bella's frequent impatience or anger at her father is utterly fictional. We can picture her rolling her eyes at her dad's concern for his friend, but why? The "lesser concern" of hers is just that: it's a lesser concern. Mononucleosis, isn't treatable and just goes away on its own.

I should know, I had it my second year of college. Harry's heart problem is potentially fatal, and Bella being the selfish narcissist that she is shows impatience at her father for being more concerned with the person who could die. This is very similar to Bella hiding Edward from her father in the first book. It didn't make any sense for her to do it, Charlie spoke of nothing bad about the Cullens going so far as to admire Carlisle and his family. Yet Bella thought it of some importance to hide her boyfriend from him. The conflict with Lauren is the same way, it comes out of the same place that the character of Lauren comes from: nowhere. However we are told that Lauren is a bitch and are supposed to read the story as though she is one. If Bella didn't like Harry for some reason it would make some sense or if Jacob's health was in the same danger as his it would be the same thing.

Bella does some web research on Mono, finds out the usual stuff and is aghast when she discovers that it could last a month. Yeah, that's possible, but a bit on the rare side. A couple weeks is usually the case. She's suspicious though, thinking that Jacob didn't act sick until he was sick on the phone. Maybe...

She forgets the situation with Mike. Jacob was smart, he used Mike's sickness to play up his inherent weakness as a mate. With that in mind we might understand that if Jacob had symptoms he wouldn't have told Bella about them because it would completely scupper any game he was building on Bella. She could, I suppose, plead ignorance of this sort of behavior but it seems that she should at least be aware of it as a possibility.

A week passes, and we are thankfully spared the details of the passage of time. However, we are treated to the dependency that Bella has on other people to be around. Her nightmares have returned, she wakes up screaming, gets shortness of breath all of the time. I'm beginning to think that she has a medical issue herself. Some kind of heart arrhythmia along with sleep apnea would be my amateur diagnosis.

The week is up and she decides she's going to call. She gets through to Billy, finally, who explains that Jacob didn't have mono but some other virus. Billy also explains that Jake is better he's just gone for the day with some of his friends: "Jacob was better, but not well enough to call me. He was out with friends. I was sitting home, missing him more every hour. I was lonely, worried, bored...perforated--and now also desolate as I realized that the week apart had not had the same effect on him."

First off, how is one "bored" and then "perforated." Those two words aren't related in any bit. The ellipses that connects them indicates thought, the narrator has to think of the word they want and the previous word must have something to do with it. If perforated is a metaphor for "empty" or "hollow" then you have to use those words because "perforated" doesn't mean the same thing. Unless she feels "holy.*" I'm also not buying her use of the word "desolate" here. "Desolate" is like a desert or a forest after a raging fire has just passed through. People can't feel desolate, but they can feel isolated or solitary which is what I think she meant.

Finally, the whole point of that couple of sentences is to show that Bella is hurt by Jacob not calling once he was better. Well guess what sweetie, you brought that on yourself. Last chapter Jacob confessed his crush, Bella blew him off, Jacob pressed, and Bella told him that "you shouldn't waste it (his time) on me," that she was never going to change her mind, etc. Jacob has moved on but now Bella feels insulted because Jake did exactly as she said he ought to? Yep this chick is definitely worth having around.

________________________________
*I know, it was lame.

Guilt (Pg. 201-224)

The thing about guilt is that it is largely artificial. There's no innate sense of guilt. That bad feeling that we have when we do something wrong is based entirely on our upbringing. It begins as a feeling of regret from being punished, then it's anticipatory of punishment, and then it becomes largely a matter of ethical teaching. Regardless of where it comes from and what form it eventually takes, guilt is the feeling that is supposed to make you change your behavior. If you guilty about something, you aren't supposed to want to do it again. The word "guilt" is also one that frequently appears in this chapter yet seems to have actually no bearing on anything that happens.

The beginning of the chapter is indicative of how bad a person Bella Swan truly is. Now, another blogger doing roughly the same thing as I (only she's going the much saner route and doing one chapter per entry instead of the longer and more wearisome as I am), has repeatedly made the claim that Bella is a "Mary Sue" for Stephanie Meyer. A "Mary Sue" is a character that is a stand in for the author, what the author does is place greatly exaggerated versions of the themselves in a story thus living out their fantasies. I agree...sometimes, this is not one of those times.

You can't be a "Mary Sue" when you have such a low opinion of yourself, "...to circle in a tight little orbit around the empty space left behind, ignoring the laws of gravity."

Bella likens her broken self to a moon whose planet was desolated (she means "destroyed" or "annihilated"--a desolated planet would still exist) and continues to circle the gravitational free fall that all moons are in. I'll give her credit for one thing: she at least looked up the fact that it would have to "ignore the laws of gravity." If we take this simile on it's own we are left with the fact that Bella looks at herself not as a thing with its own self worth, but as a thing that can only exist in reference to something else which is greater than it. Every satellite needs something to orbit, it is that which ontologically defines a satellite. Bella is saying that she is not a person, or a being; but something whose only worth is determined by that which she is around. Nice role model eh?

Another point before I move on, the simile would actually work much better if she said something like, "I was like a planet drifting through space having lost a star for which to anchor it."* This would preserve not only a sense of self worth but also would more accurately reflect the feeling of drifting through her life that she has told us about.

...back to the guilt thing.

Jacob and Bella have been hanging out a lot. So much that she is getting decent at riding a bike, also that she is becoming aware that Jacob might have a crush on her. Really Bella? No shit, that was apparent in the three brief scenes with the two of you from the last book. In fact, if your just picking this up now, you are basically telling us that everything you told us about Jacob and everything you told Edward about Jacob was a lie.

Jacob asks Bella on a date-ish thing and Bella turns him down. In her words, "I saw a chance and took it..." She makes up a ridiculous claim that she is going to a movie with her high school friends as a way of breaking the rhythm between them. It's a bit cruel to lie like that, but I suppose it's understandable. Then she invites Jacob along with them (keeping in mind there is no "them" yet)!? WTF as they say on the internets. She wants to break the constant hanging around with Jacob but then invites him along? It doesn't make sense--I guess we are past the "making sense" thing with this character though.

Bella invites Mike, who is always willing to hold that torch for her, then sends him on the errand of inviting everyone in the highs school that matters. Note that Bella doesn't do this herself, she doesn't ask a single person other than Mike but has her lap dog do it for her. At some point a 17 year old boy is going to tell her to fuck off, especially one that isn't as attractive as she says she is.** Some of the people are busy, some are not.

What's more important is that Lauren and Jessica are out to sabotage the movie experience. Jessica is still understandably mad at Bella. Lauren, "Lauren got to Tyler and Conner before Mike could, so those two were also busy."

They were busy, it could be on their own, not part of a conspiracy but it probably is. More importantly, who the hell is Lauren? Lauren has no reason to hate Bella, just does...because we are told she hates Bella and we are supposed to hate her ourselves. It would be nice if just once we were shown why we should hate something, or even like something, or feel anything.

Adding to our bad writing seminar is this little gem. Bella finds out in a phone call that Angela is sick and her and her boyfriend aren't coming. Some kind of stomach flu. Three paragraphs later, "Ang is sick...she and Ben aren't coming." Only one time is necessary, thanks Steph. This time though, we can blame the editor.

So now only Jake and Mike are coming. Bella, is not excited but she tries to muster some enthusiasm, "with grim sarcasm." One of those words doesn't fit with the other two, it doesn't matter which one, it won't work with the others.

They get to the movie with Mike and Jake eyeballing each other the whole time. Mike gets sick with presumably the same sickness as Angela and Ben begins throwing up. Jake is delighted, because his rival has now been relegated to the position of pathetic sniveling wreck of a person, a shell of where a man used to be. That's not entirely inaccurate, it's actually a sign that Jacob is human delighting in the misery of his opponent. He's nice about it though, he does take Mike to the bathroom. It's rather nice, but it's clearly a victory march back to Bella.

This is where he makes his move. Bella shoots him down, because...actually we never really get a reason. Fortunately for her Jacob won't give up, this lets her put another guy on the back burner until Dreamy McDreamboat comes back. The best thing so far is that we've only heard him mentioned a couple of times. The less of him the better, if only we could get rid of her too.

Mike is done throwing up, and the three decide that it is a good time to leave. On the way out Jacob stops and thinks about the move, walks back to the counter, "Could I have a popcorn bucket please?"

It's a good thought, Bella explains that the girl behind the counter was looking at them, saw the situation and didn't want to clean it up so moved them out of there. They got the bucket.

Bull. Shit.

I worked in a movie theater for over four years, and while I didn't like sweeping up vomit it was part of the job. What wasn't part of the job was cleaning up the outside where they were almost out of. Furthermore, the person behind the counter doesn't clean up the floor, the usher does that. Thirdly, he won't get the bucket. Ever.

The bucket is how the theater keeps inventory. Popcorn, drinks, etc. are inventoried by the packages they are sold in. An 8 dollar bucket of popcorn costs about a nickel to make, the popcorn itself is basically worthless. A worker who is giving up that paper bucket, when there are garbage bags available, is basically giving herself a nightmare at closing.

They go home. Everything goes to shit for no reason. Mike is sick, Bella gets sick, and Jacob feels off. It amounts to nothing at all, and as a convenient plot device it doesn't make any sense. The only thing we know is that Jacob doesn't have the same thing as the other two, of course we know what it is he has, Lycanthropy.

At this point it's not even a surprise anymore, but it's probably going to get drawn out over a hundred or more pages because these books need to be 500 long, for some reason.***

____________________
*It's cheesy, but I'm not a professional fiction writer. 

**Remember in this world the prettier you are the better you are as a person...I guess this world and the world of Toddlers and Tiaras.

***I'm blaming JK Rowling for this one.

Nihilism ( Pg. 180-200)

After last week's break on Monday, I really meant to write this up on Wednesday. Truly I did but this section, which consists of an entire chapter, is so pointless so utterly void of anything that happens that cutting it out wouldn't have made much of a difference in the story.

Now, I say, much of a difference because the only thing that really occurs is that Bella "learns" to ride her motorcycle. Which is amusing in a couple of ways, but none of them intentional. The first amusing thing is that Bella seems to get the balancing part right away. I've never ridden a motorcycle, a bicycle yes, but not a motorcycle--so if someone that has done both were to say to me, "you can't quibble that point it's the same principle. Once you get going the balancing takes care of itself." I would concede to their relative expertise on the subject.

However, Bella has repeatedly told us from the start of the first book that she has balance issues. Remember Gym class when she couldn't hit the shuttlecock in badminton without falling over and hitting herself and Mike in the face in one swoop? So in order for her to ride a motorcycle, she would have to retroactively not have this problem. She couldn't have gotten over it, because she hasn't been riding a bike. She couldn't be able to ride a bike as a child because of the aforementioned balance issues that she has told us about, and that the infallible Edward has told us about as well. Yet she has no problem riding the bike.

That she falls over while riding it has nothing to do with the balance issues. She falls over because she hit the break too hard on one occasion and the wrong break on the other. What we have here is an egregious consistency error, at best. At worst it's a case of deus ex machina. I doubt it's an error, because the clumsiness aspect of Bella only crops up when it's utterly convenient for the plot. Aside from that one incident in gym class, it HAS NEVER HAPPENED. Our judgment must then be that this is a case of convenience, it is deus ex machina.

We've talked about it before where we literally translated the phrase as "hand of god." However that is a translation not a transliteration. Transliterated the phrase means "god from hand," which makes no sense but "god out of the machine" helps us a little more. The author is god, the machine is the story, what god wills the story must bend toward. However when things show up randomly or without prior cause or consistency the story is thus rendered nonsensical or absurd...or in this case at least the character. Let's let the "Master of those who Know" tell us:

"The right thing, however, is in the characters just as in the incidents of the play to endeavour always after the necessary or the probable; so that whenever such-and-such a person days or does such-and-such a thing, it shall be necessary or probable outcome of his character; and whenever this incident follows on that, it shall be either necessary or the probable consequence of it...there should be nothing improbable among the incidents."*

That was written by Aristotle around 335 BCE. It's a basic call for consistency, if our character is going to be clumsy than let her be clumsy, but she has to do it. To repeat, she has never fallen in the story and we only know that she fell because she told us in a memory. It's entirely improbable that she would be able to ride a motorcycle.

Why does she do it? Because a disembodied voice in her head that sounds like Edward yells at her to stop when she does. That is seriously what happens, she "hears" this, "Do you want to kill yourself, then?" Is that what this is about?"

The comma between "yourself" and "then" is not a typo that is how she wrote it. Here's a good exercise, whenever you see a comma take a quick breath. That's what they are used for and you probably did it without thinking about it anyway but reread the quote....done? Good. Notice how ridiculous it sounds. Typically a writer should be technically better on their second book but we seem to be regressing.

She crashes and then...blah blah blah.

This was the emergency break crash in which she cuts her head bleeding quite profously. In a rare moment of research we learn that, "head wounds just bled more than most."

Despite the error in verb tense, she is right. This is why wrestlers (WWE not Olympic) end up with cuts on their forehead quite frequently. It looks a great deal worse than it is. However, she did flip her bike and head wounds--since she wasn't wearing a helmet** probably gave her a concussion, which is significantly worse than a cut. This is addressed but it's quickly rendered non-important (because possible brain damage is a minor issue), only that her father checks on her for a bit after buying her "I fell" excuse.

The rest of the chapter has Bella and Jake searching the woods for place that Edward took Bella last book. It's trite, it's contrived, but we're along for the ride for some odd reason. What's worse is that Jake is playing third wheel to someone who isn't even there, and Bella never tells Jake why they are doing any of the things that she is having them do. What a role model for young girls everywhere.

There's some more bullshit about reports of a large bear or something in the woods which Charlie is concerned with in his capacity as Sheriff but none of the other major characters are. Jake makes a point about how bears don't like people meat, which is factually correct but we know better. We know that it's not a bear, because Billy doesn't care one bit. It's a damn werewolf. Thank you trailers for the second movie, because there could have been some tension there.

Jake makes a joke, "I bet you'd taste good."

I really should have kept a score card on the accidental porn dialogue this novel uses but Bella follows up in her thought with a comment that it wasn't the first time she had heard that. I would like to ask her, are you sure about that?

____________________________
* 1454a33-1454b4: I admit that using Aristotle to criticize the Twilight series is a bit like using a flamethrower to kill a bee. Although it doesn't mean that it's not fun.

**the bad examples just pile up in this series don't they?

Interlude I

Well faithful readers, this week we have a short break in the "action." My school schedule has shifted again and since going this apparently takes about two days to write I find myself hemmed in the needs of the far more important course work that I have to read for. In all honesty reading Totality and Infinity, while more difficult, is much more rewarding and in the long run more fruitful.

Although...ripping this book apart is much more fun. Especially since it seems to get worse and worse as it goes on.

Next week, we'll be back on schedule. Where we continue with Bella's experimentation into motorcycle driving...I think since that's where we left off. Until then.

Foreshadowing (Pg. 169-180)

The concept of foreshadowing is a really simple one. You subtly hint at something to come and then later when you actually arrive at it the reader (or viewer) is supposed to think to themselves, "oh wait I remember this from before." The thing about foreshadowing is the subtlety. Subtlety is not a word I would use to describe anything in this book, especially with regard to future events. Certain things are so obvious that it's really hard to buy into the tension. Instead our only thought is, when and not if. Good foreshadowing should always play on some level of doubt.

All of that is, of course, stepping toward our second big reveal in the series. That Jacob is not as he seems. Which is too bad because in this book, he's probably the best written of the characters. A shy, unsure of himself, 16 year old who happens to be really good at fixing mechanical things, in this case, motorcycles. In fact he's so good that he's already fixed the two that Bella brought to him. This is odd for the reason of the quickness that he fixed them.

It was four weeks ago, in blog postings that Bella brought Jacob the bikes. In story time it's been a week or two. We haven't had any transitions of time but instead have plodded along with Bella as she details the minutiae of her life. Being generous we could say that it's been two weeks: now on its own that amount of time isn't anything special. I assume that a decent mechanic can fix two motorcycles in two weeks. The problem is that one of these bikes isn't average and Jake was talking about how they would have to order special parts to fix them, expensive parts.* I wouldn't mention it normally, but it was stressed by our author that the parts were going to be a difficulty. Remember Bella wanted to use her college money, Jake didn't want to charge her, it was a bulwark of this burgeoning relationship. Now, though? It's all forgotten, Jake used his magic native powers to fix the bike.

Some bullshit with Charlie and Bella is riding in the truck with Jacob talking about how great he is, and how great she feels around him. Not to him of course, but to us. What this means to me is that he has been relegated to "friend" territory only he doesn't know it yet. He's not Mike, and Bella has yet to make up anything about him to dislike him. The way she treats him, more like a puppy, is all we need to know. On the way Bella sees someone dive off a cliff and it understandably panics her.

Jacob on the other hand laughs. Which leads Bella to think he was callous. Which leads me to think she doesn't know what callous means. A callous person would either ignore her comment or ask her why she should care. Laughing is more Arthur Schopenhauer territory, to laugh at the mention of death is often our first reaction he once said. Jacob explains that they are "cliff diving," and suddenly Bella wants to go. My question is, isn't it still January? Did we skip forward a couple of months without anyone knowing? It would make sense if we did but we have no indication that it happened.

Bella relents after feeling a glacier breeze or something like that on her, which again leads me to believe that, yes, we are still in January. Continuity is becoming the biggest chore in reading this book.

Who are they? "The La Push Gang."

The reservation has a gang. I'm not going to quibble on that point, if it's not a reflection of reality it's not absurd for a bunch of people united in common heritage to form some sort of group within the reservation. They're a good gang though, "they're all about our land, and tribe, and pride...it's getting ridiculous." Jacob describes one incident where the gang ran off a meth dealer. The leader's name is Sam Uley and he's kind of a dick.

The mention of his name triggers a memory in Bella, "a trio of tall, dark men standing very still and close together in my father's living room...had that been Sam's gang?"

This must have been from when she went to sleep in the woods after Edward dumped her and Charlie called anyone he could to help find her. Why she's making this connection now is a question I can't answer. I also deplore the detail of, "standing very still." I guess we are supposed to read this as being threatening or ominious but isn't this the exact same way that Edward used to watch her sleep? Furthermore the three, whoever they were, were also trying to make sure that she was ok as they were literally tasked with looking for her.

There's more going on here with the gang. One of Jacob's absurdly named friends, "Embry" is now a member of the gang. The way it played out was that one day Embry didn't show up at school and this continued for two weeks. When he returned he looked shocked, but then quickly joined up with the Sam's group. Again we have a time issue, but this may clear it up. Embry had to be gone for two weeks, so it must have been two weeks since we last saw him. However, now we have to make enough time for Jacob to notice that Embry has completely divorced himself from Jacob and Quil. That should take a week or so, given that the first few couple of days could be chalked up to Embry getting over whatever it is happened to him. Three weeks is enough time of the bikes, the parts, and perhaps the weather to warm up to pass the freezing point, but I shouldn't have to do this much work to figure out that we are in mid February. Non-essential plot details like time can be told to the reader since we only need them for reference.

Jake doesn't like the gang, because they are apparently shown deference in council meetings, just like Jake's father. We run into a tragically consistent pattern here with Jacob. In this book and the last, I commented that the more Meyer writes about a character the less I tend to like them. Every detail added to Edward's personality made me dislike him less and less until I just downright hated him, same with Bella. Jake suffers the same fate which is too bad because he seemed like such a nice kid.

Jake hates the La Push Gang because they are shown some favoritism and no one shows him any. Ok, jealousy, not a good trait but a realistic one. Then you consider that he's 16 and it makes it more forgivable. Then literally the next paragraph he comments that what annoys him the most is that Sam and the gang are now showing Jake a level of respect that they don't show anyone else. Which is it Jake? You either want the respect Sam and your father get, or you don't. Because you can't hate it both ways.

We then find out that Embry was on the cliffs a second ago, but no one thought to mention it earlier. That's just bad writing, either make it a point or don't, but don't throw it into the story and then leave it.

Bella, for once does a good job comforting him and in a rare well done scene Jake twists a momentary expression of anger into some casual flirting. Telling her that he'll freak out more often if it means she's going to hug him more. Bella as usual ignores it but moves on to describing her relationship with Jacob, "I didn't relate to people, so easily, on such a basic level.--Not human beings."

We know that she means Edward. In reality though, she didn't relate to him either. Unless you count master (him)/slave (her) as a basic level. On the other hand this is the sort of messy foreshadowing that I mentioned earlier. Of course she relates to Jacob but not anyone else, Jacob isn't human. If there is such a thing as an "obvious hammer" it must be worn down to a nub with this book.

_________________
*Not in reality though, most of the parts were about fifty bucks on ebay.

Abadon (Pg. 158-168)

Our last section ended with Bella being nostalgic about how it had been one year since she moved to Forks. That doesn't seem right to me because it's January now (an important point as we will discover later) and I had some inclination that she moved to Forks in the Fall, at least that is how the descriptions of it went. The kids were still going outside and such, visiting the beach, in winter? Maybe, but with the temperature averages as a high in the mid 40s and lows in the mid 30s, it seems unlikely that despite what we are being told, this story is taking place in January right now. Especially with the building of the motorcycles. The weather in Forks is apparently a slave to the plot's needs: which is bad bad writing. You can't appeal against nature.

Our chapter begins with Bella driving to the Cullen's old house, which they've apparently not sold but rather abandoned. Yep, nothing says inconspicuous like just leaving a house that you will still have to pay taxes on. It's odd that this one detail is missed, because it could have been quite important. Bella could see a "For Sale/Sold" sign on the front of the driveway or have seen people moving in. Anything but the abandoned house would make more sense than this. Shouldn't someone be trying to sell this immaculate house that was described to us in the last book, even if Carlisle sold it at below value?

"Now that I was really awake, the nothingness of the dream gnawed on my nerves, a dog worrying a bone."

There's a lot wrong with that sentence. Bella is giving us her thoughts as she drives up toward the Cullen house. First off, what is this dream she is describing? The only one we have been given is her lost in the woods with the sense that someone was searching for her and then she can't get out. So where is the nothingness? This is a flat out pandering attempt to be deep. The nothingness isn't there, it's a sense of being lost, and it's a wonder that I can describe the dream's metaphor better than the person who made it up. Secondly "nothingness" can't gnaw, because it's nothing. Nothing can't do anything because it is, by definition, no thing. Thirdly, I get what the metaphor at the end of that sentence is supposed to do but it's obviously shoe-horned in. You can almost see the "like" that is missing between "nerves," and "a" that was simply deleted. I think Meyer was getting sick of using similes. The whole sentence is just clunky, unless of course she's actually seeing a dog worrying* a bone.

Why is she here? Because she wants to jog her brain into producing the memory of Edward's voice. Meh, I'll buy that, we've all done something really stupid and inane when we were just dumped, but then I remember that her being dumped was four/five months ago. We're being hit with a hammer here, and not in a good way. See, Bella is truly and irrevocably in love with Edward, at least that's what we are told and we are being told that this is still the case. Told, but never shown. You expect that at novel two the writing would get better. Why is she chasing a memory of a voice when this is how she describes the owner of that voice, "unattainable and impossible, uncaring and distracted..."

The first adjective makes sense, but that's it. "Impossible?" What's impossible? She already had him. "Uncaring and distracted" those two show me who she's talking about but not why she's chasing him. It's like she's telling us that she wants someone who doesn't show any concern for her and won't pay attention to her either. He's a winner, but we never really know why.

"The tall ferns had infiltrated the meadow around the house..." This is a good example of why we, as in everyone aspiring to be a writer in the current age, have a distinct advantage over every generation of writer previous: we have the internet. I get the fact that Meyer wants to show the passage of time by having the plants grow in the yard...er meadow. But ferns have a life cycle and a quick trip to wikipedia can show us that the ferns wouldn't have grown that fast, in the damn winter. This isn't Pripyat Russia where thirty to forty years have passed since anyone has lived there. It's been five months, but it's also been winter months and shit doesn't grow in the winter. That's why it's winter and not Spring. That's why Peresephone spends this time with Hades and the rest of the time outside of the realm of the dead. Simple research, or just plain observation. We could have had longer grass, or better yet mud soaked driveways given the rain, instead we've got some sort of super spreading vegetation, must be all of the sparkles.

Sigh.

"Nothingness of Nightmares..." despite the fact that we've already discussed that her nightmares aren't about nothingness this sounds like the title track to my failed heavy metal band "Kefka's Abadon." It's one of those phrases that sounds really cool but makes no sense if you stop to think about it objectively. It's like our author read one line of Nietzsche "if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes into you" and decided to run with it in order to make Bella's whining over her six month relationship with Eddie that much more plausible.

As we are abruptly led to the Cullen's house we are led out of it. Seriously, Bella decides that she is leaving and it's off to Jacob's place for some more bike work. This is where it gets interesting. We know that Jacob has a crush on Bella (for some reason) from last book. He's a bit younger but they've been playing a rather cute game where they keep adding years to their age for skills and acheivements. I wonder how many Bella lost for her clumsiness?** Jake shows some foresight here with the game because it lessens the reality of the chronological difference between them. Then he places a thinly veiled confession of his attraction and affection toward Bella. It's a bold move by the 16 year old, but it's out there. What happens? Nothing. It's a huge moment in their friendship, one that could very well break it in any realistic setting and it's like it never happens.

Back at school, with no transition or anything, Bella remarks about how her friends have "kindly overlooked my few months of aberrant behavior." First off, let's take a quick visit to the dictionary to define "aberrant" which is a deviation from the normal. This is the wrong word. Bella has been just the same as she was before. Those last few months where she was just sitting and not talking to everyone was exactly the same as when Eddie and Alice where in town. They all sat at the same table, but Bella just ignored them. So how exactly has her ignoring of her friends the last few months been any different than it has the last year? The only actual difference is that in the last few months she hasn't been ignoring them in favor of someone else but they were still getting shunned.

Not everyone is happy about her "return" (because she hasn't gone anywhere), "...Jess was more resistant. I wondered if she needed a formal written apology for the Port Angeles incident." Again with the "Jessica is a bitch because I say she's a bitch." Maybe Bella should try an oral apology, or any kind of apology before making this claim. None of it makes sense, Jessica has a legitimate complaint here and doubly so since Bella hasn't shown any kind of remorse for scaring the crap out of her.

"I needed something to distract me from nightmare and nothingness." I went to a Catholic highschool, and one friday every month they made us go to church. Eventually I realized that while they could make me go, make me kneel, and make me sing/chant/recite they couldn't make me pray. Same thing here Meyer, you can keep making me read words like "nothingness" or "abyss" or "numbness" but I'm not going to believe it. Bella is not deep, she doesn't have dreams about abadon or oblivion. She's a superficial bitch who lost her good looking rich boyfriend, and now has to cope with the reality that she may not be at the top of the ladder anymore. I suppose that might be worse than nothing for her though.

_____________________
*"Worrying" here is actually correct, it's antiquated, but correct.
**Wait a second, did that aspect of her personality just go away because it's no longer convenient for the plot? Strange.

Telling (Pg. 145-158)

 I began this project with an open mind. I realized that the detractors of this series were usually disgruntled nerd types who tend to hate anything popular by its virtue of being popular. It's like Yogi Bera once said, "the place is so popular no one goes there anymore." So throughout these posts I have made strides to point out the sections where the writing is well done rather than just focus on the purely negative as so many others have done. The problem is that in doing this, we hit a section where the characters are unlikable and the writing is bad. One without the other isn't a good thing, but both together? Not a good sign. Furthermore, given that this is the second book in the series you expect improvement. However in order to do that we would need a drastically different main character.

Bella and Jake are working on the bikes, which means that it's time for some pointless monologuing from Bella about why she isn't completely miserable. It could be that, I don't know, she's out amongst the people instead of something magical but no, "It was Jacob himself. Jacob was simply a perpetually happy person and he carried that happiness with him like an aura, sharing it with whoever was within his gravitational pull."

First off, is it an aura or a gravitational pull? One radiates while the other pulls in; it's a mixed simile and doesn't work at all. Secondly, those perpetually happy people? They usually make depressed people miserable. Maybe though he is an exception, although I somehow doubt it. Thirdly, and finally, we haven't seen an instance of Jacob being a perpetually happy person. He seems in good spirits around Bella but that's because he has a crush on her. Other than that he's kind of a typical 16 year old.

Charlie shows up and there's an impromptu party at the Black's house. They eat spaghetti out sprawled throughout the house because the kitchen is too small for all eight or nine people that are there. She actually gives the impression that some of them are outside through the open doors, but this is January so that doesn't make much sense. Charlie eyes Bella and Jacob throughout the dinner. Which makes sense given that he's her father, but Bella has of course some snide comments about him doing it. Again, the relationship she has to her father is extremely odd. What's even more odd is the relationship that Bella has with every other woman that appears in the story. The first thing that Bella notices about any female is how attractive they are. Leah, a girl we've just met who is a senior (but we aren't told where), is described as having beautiful bronze skin. Every other woman in the story, if they are noticed at all, is introduced as being an object of desire or at least envy. Remember that in the last book, Bella could never shut the hell up about how gorgeous Edward's sisters were. If a woman warrants a description in this book she's always an object of desire. I've Cinemax movies that are less objectifying.

Once home we have a curious case of violating the "show don't tell" rule of writing. Bella checks her email and receives word from her mother, "She wrote about her day, a new book club that filled the time slot...a second honeymoon trip to Disney World." It's a case of unnecessary information. Nothing in the email is of any importance, only to remind us that she has a mother. Then we get to the rule violation as Bella thinks about the email she has just read two paragraphs earlier, "I really must have worried her."

Bella calls herself a bad daughter. I'll agree with that, but only in reference to Charlie. Meyer has told us that Bella's mother is upset with Bella. She should have shown us it, with the actual text of the email, but in this case it would have been useless anyway. Since nothing in that email even remotely hints at Renee being upset with Bella, Meyer instead just tells is that this is the case. It makes absolutely no sense for this to either happen or for it to be told to us. In fact if Renee was entirely dropped from the story would it be any different? Maybe she's never there because she's not hot.

The next day is Monday. Which is important because we are back to school. After another awkward exchange with Charlie she's at school lamenting how no one notices her. Which is total bullshit as we explained in during the last novel Bella wants to be unpopular because she wants to be popular. It's the long way around, people will view her as the loner and thus she will be special. Her eyes will be permanently fixed in an upward sarcastic fashion while she talks about foreign "films" and smokes cloves in three years. She's way beyond unreliable narrator because she's inconsistent. All of the times where she's enjoyed the freedom and the privilege of being a Cullen now all she wants is anonymity? Bullshit, because the first thing she does is wonder if everyone has been talking about her.

The larger issue is that she hasn't been gone. She's been in school, at work, at home. We're supposed to be under the impression that this is her first day back after the break up, but it clearly isn't. Perhaps psychologically it might be, but that's a complete stretch. Her claim is that she wants to, "fade into the wet concrete of the sidewalk like an oversized chameleon."

It's another simile butcher but this time it only fails for two reasons: the first is that the word "oversized" is superfluous. If she wanted to hide it would be better for her to hide like a regular sized chameleon, because they are smaller thus easier to miss. If she really wanted to hide she wouldn't be starting conversations with people like she does at lunch with Jessica. The second reason the simile fails is because unless that concrete is blue and she wants to be cold it makes no sense. Chameleons don't change color to hide, they don't have to, they are green and live in trees. The color change is merely a stimulus response to temperature. Do some research instead of going off everything that you've been told and you'll be a better writer.

The not wanting to be noticed Bella strikes up a conversation with Jessica, "she looked at me with suspicious eyes. Could she still be angry? Or was she just too impatient to deal with a crazy person?" Jessica responds with a one word answer and then later asks two of the other women at the table how their weekend went giving us this observation by Bella, "Jessica asked, not sounding as if she cared about the answe. I'd bet this was just an opener so she could tell her own stories."

I never picked this up before, but it has to do with Bella's relationship with Jessica, and thus Jessica's relationship with the author. To be honest I have to throw credit where it's due (someone else has decided to torture themselves with these books too), and this person "Kate" made it perfectly clear why something is always off about Jessica. It's not her, it's the author. I think someone like Jessica, a pretty blonde, made life hell for our author because she wants us to hate Jessica, but we are never given any reason for not liking her. She's a gossip, sure, but she's also a 17/18 year old girl so that's not really worthy of despising. Also she's the center of her social circle so it makes sense that she would be a gossip, but other than that Bella just hates her and then through her eyes we are supposed to hate her as well. However nothing Jessica does has ever been unjustified to Bella. At first Jessica was a little jealous because of Mike which makes sense. Then she was made to see Bella abandon the only friends she had at Forks HS to sit with the Cullens, but that makes sense as well. Now, she's giving Bella one word answers and ignoring her, and you know what? That makes sense as well given the events of Friday night. We are supposed to hate Jessica but i have no idea why. Either she's a stand in for someone the author doesn't like, or we are supposed to not like her because she isn't attached to a man, which seems to be the only virtue worth having in this world.

Finally we get a third mutilating, "the figure of speech cold shoulder seemed to have some literal truth to it. I could feel the the warm air blowing off the vents, but I was still too cold." What in the living fuck am I supposed to do with that? Cold shoulder is what you give someone you are ignoring or angry with. Like Jessica is doing to Bella right now, justifiably. It has nothing, at all, to do with the temperature in the air. Now if the cold air was metaphorically coming off of Jessica and Bella got a chill from her cold reaction, that would make sense. Then, however, we would be in a different book. A shitty book, but at least one that understands what exactly a cliche is. At this point I think I want to take a week off and watch the first movie.

Finally we get Angela, at the end of lunch, thanking Bella for standing up for her. Which we not only never learn why she did it but we also never learn when it happened because it wasn't during this lunch period. Telling not showing seems to be the theme of this series. We also learn that the reason that Bella doesn't hang out with Angela is because she's too smart, she probably isn't pretty enough either.

Too hip to be happy pt. II ( Pg. 134-147)

We've stumbled on to another one of the dangerous ideas that this book series propagates. The first being that control freak sociopaths make good boyfriends, and the second regards depression. I've discussed it several times during the last book that Bella is obviously clinically depressed. Not just a sad sack, but DSM-IV depressed. It's one of the actual appealing things about her character, because at least in this our author is pretty accurate. The repeated feelings of worthlessness, the idolization of anyone that even seems better, and the complete attachment to her boyfriend (who again isn't worth it by a long shot) to the point where she ignores her self; all play into a categorization of someone who is suffering from depression. While such a clinical diagnosis is ought of my expertise, I'm basically comparing her to people that I have known who were diagnosed with depression by a psychologist. It's a little cheap, I admit that, but without shelling out the money for the DSM-IV and at least four years of college, it's about as close as we are going to get.

Yet the depressed Bella that we have come to know and despise also carries with it a strange trope that exists in almost all cases where a form of fictional media deals with a person suffering from certain psychological ailments. First things first though, let's get through the plot until we get there.

Jacob is stripping the bikes apart, which is stereotypical of any gear head. Take it apart to see what's wrong with it, of course, they could...I don't know, try to start the bikes just to see if they work. As they are doing so Jacob is basically carrying the conversation. The first thing he does is describe his sophomore year.

This was confusing to me. Not the sophomore part, we know that because in the last book Charlie yelled at him for driving before he had his license. It's just that I'm not sure where he goes to school. It can't be at Bella's Forks HS, because then she would have had prior knowledge of all of this. Is it a reservation school? I know that such things do exist, but it would be nice here if Meyer would fill us in on at least where he goes. Especially when Jacob's two friends show up for a pop in.

"Quil and Embry--this is my friend Bella.' Quil and Embry, I still didn't know which was which, exchanged a look"

I know the look, it's a guy thing and it surprises me that Meyer is aware of it. It's the he's-with-a-girl-so-let's-give-him-shit look. It's a nice scene that's incredibly realistic, and it would be nice if Quil and Embry don't suffer the Tolkien problem of being introduced just to be dropped. More importantly Bella leaves with the three still in the garage only this time, "I was laughing, actually laughing and there wasn't even anyone watching."

Jacob and his friends forced her to not purposely remember how miserable she's supposed to be. At home it's the usual weird relationship between Bella and her father. He's notably curious about her spending time with Jacob, although not in a suspicious way just a concerned father way. Along with a way of hoping this breaks her out of the funk she's been in. The next morning, it's Sunday. Which is important because it is very rare that we get any notion of time in this story. Although truth be told, this book is a lot better than the last one...so far.

Sunday means no homework, and Bella wants to take a run over to Jacob's to work on the motorcycles. Her dad is going to watch the game. It's kind of lazy writing to have Charlie keep doing this. So far any time Bella needs to be away from her father he's watching the game., "I wasn't sure if the game was just an excuse for kicking me out, but he looked excited enough now." 

"The game" falls under the Cain/Hackman theorum; at any given time there's one on as long as you aren't picky about what it is. The thing about this "game" is that since it's Sunday we can't be sure what it is. Too late in the year for football, too early in the year for baseball. All that's left is Hockey and Basketball, and hockey we were told was last night. What could be so exciting that Charlie is ecstatic that Bella is out of the house? It doesn't matter apparently, the big four may not be on, but if you are willing to settle for Thai slap boxing or watching ESPN "the ocho" cover Scrabble you can find some sort of competition. This time the excuse does two things, it gets Bella away from Charlie but it also gets Old Man Black away from Jacob. This way the motorcycle rebuilt can take place in secrecy.

Bella's is happy now, I suppose is what really matters. But this leads us to the original point of the post. The trope regarding mental illness is that it's all in the person's head. Well, duh, I mean that it's not anything serious but rather just a matter of perception if the afflicted person could just get over it, get out in the world, they would realize that being miserable is a choice that doesn't have to be made. For reference see "The Dream Team," "Rainman," "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," the episodes of House where he was committed, there's many more but those would be the most popular.

This is a dangerous stereotype to continue. Bella's problem is that she is a self-destructive person with no sense of self-worth. Then her boyfriend dumped her, now she's one or two bad decisions away from a suicide attempt which she's pretty much doing anyway with the motorcycles. Now, though, she's happy and laughing because she is around people who don't view her as being worthless, instead actually respect her. Which would be a good lesson for a depressed to learn, except that Bella isn't doing it right. She is happy because Jacob is happy, not for any reason that she can come up with on her own. Which is too bad because she ought to be, she found people that care about her and make her feel good. Yet she still holds on to that stupid promise she made to Edward, "I still wanted to cheat."

She wants to be miserable because the pain reminds her of Edward. It's the only thing and its disappearing. That's why she goes to bed anxious, she's afraid of losing that last connection. Maybe what I said earlier was wrong regarding her: maybe she is choosing to be depressed, but no matter because it is still a dangerous stereotype to continue.

Summa Contra Motorcyclus (Pg. 127-134)

Borrowing from Aquinas for that title.

She's out in the rain in front of a house where she sees some motorcycles for sale. This is apparently fate, because Charlie hates motorcycles and somehow this is her way to get back at Edward for breaking his promise that it would be like he never existed. Now, I know that previous sentence has two completely unrelated ideas in it, but literally this is her reasoning for wanting the motorcycles. Charlie hates them, they're dangerous, and Edward broke his promise, so she'll break her promise about not doing anything dangerous.

A kid from school opens the door, recognizing her for some reason and she inquires about the bikes. It turns out they are not for sale, they are free to whoever wants them, but they need work. For some reason haggling is involved regarding whether or not she'll take them. Which I don't understand at all, if the junkman comes around my neighborhood and he wants to take some scrap metal; I'm not going to get into it with him about where the best place to go would be. This is what happens, apparently there is one mechanic in Forks but he's expensive and everyone knows this. Yet somehow he still operates, even though the entire town would rather drive to Port Angeles to get their car worked on. What it sounds like is that this kid, the high school kid, is trying to kiss up to the hot senior. That's at least in the realm of plausibility, but if the family is really trying to ditch the bikes then the less talk about it the better.

Bella, now in possession of two motorcycles, needs a way to get them fixed, "inspiration hit like a bolt of lightening, not unreasonable considering the storm."

The "like a bolt of lightening" part I understand, it's a bit cliche, but I get the meaning. All of the sudden the idea exploded in her mind, but then she explains the simile? Why? It's completely reasonable to say that inspiration hit like lightening, because people say that all of the time and everyone understands the meaning of the phrase.* What does the storm have to do with anything? Does she mean that literally lightening hit her? The weather is a complete non-issue for the simile to work. If she had said instead, "the idea exploded like a volcano" would she have to justify it with, "which is pretty reasonable considering what happened in Iceland recently?" Sorry Stephanie, but that's bad writing.

What is the idea then? Jacob. She knows someone that works on cars, and he'll pretty much do anything for her, so just like I assume how she got the job at Mike's store she heads off to the reservation but first she calls her dad to tell her what's going on. Her dad, the Sheriff, wonders why she is calling and what's wrong to which Bella asks, "Can't I call you at work without there being an emergency?"

No, Bella, you can't. Other people can, but not you. Mainly for the reason that every morning she wakes up screaming.

She gets permission and then runs to the Black's house to see Jacob, "You grew again!' I accused in amazement."

"Accused"? I suppose that's technically right but it just seems so wrong. The two sneak around to the barn to unload the bikes. Jacob looks them over and remarks that they will need work. Bella offers him one of the bikes in exchange for fixing the both of them-a pretty good deal actually. Jacob agrees to this, because he won't take money. I actually get the impression that his desire to work on the motorcycles is to for its own sake trumping his desire to do shit for Bella. He's enthusiastic about the project and best of all because of his old man's wheel chair they can be worked in secrecy.

Bella here, actually lightens up. She feels better about herself around Jacob, and I'm not reading anything into it either. She flat out says it a couple of times. It's probably because by doing this, she's actually moving on. Holding on the Edward promise was just her way of staying with him, but once she freed herself from his control her mood considerably lightened. In actuality she's finally come to the conclusion that she told us that she was at by the very end of the last chapter. This time she isn't lying, because she's stating facts not trying to convince anyone.

As a point of fact though things get strange. Jacob remarks that one of the Motorcycles is a Harley Davidson Spirit. Harleys are like Macs (the computers) a good deal of the cost is based around the label on it. They are two companies that basically epitmoize form over function. Not to say they don't function well, but that for the same price you would pay for a Harley or an i"Whatever" you could but at least two of the other things. All that aside, the thing with the Harley is that it is going to be expensive to fix, Jake tells Bella that the parts cost money but she doesn't care. She can use her college fund to pay for the parts.

I think that this is the way Meyer is writing Bella's suicide, without calling it that. I did a quick check on the internet and most of the parts cost about fifty books each, the entire bike is available on EBay for around 3550. I suppose that my only question regarding her desire to cull her future in favor of the motorcycles is: why doesn't she just use the money she makes from her job? It's not like she's in a hurry.

__________________
*Just like "irregardless" sigh.