After last week's break on Monday, I really meant to write this up on Wednesday. Truly I did but this section, which consists of an entire chapter, is so pointless so utterly void of anything that happens that cutting it out wouldn't have made much of a difference in the story.
Now, I say, much of a difference because the only thing that really occurs is that Bella "learns" to ride her motorcycle. Which is amusing in a couple of ways, but none of them intentional. The first amusing thing is that Bella seems to get the balancing part right away. I've never ridden a motorcycle, a bicycle yes, but not a motorcycle--so if someone that has done both were to say to me, "you can't quibble that point it's the same principle. Once you get going the balancing takes care of itself." I would concede to their relative expertise on the subject.
However, Bella has repeatedly told us from the start of the first book that she has balance issues. Remember Gym class when she couldn't hit the shuttlecock in badminton without falling over and hitting herself and Mike in the face in one swoop? So in order for her to ride a motorcycle, she would have to retroactively not have this problem. She couldn't have gotten over it, because she hasn't been riding a bike. She couldn't be able to ride a bike as a child because of the aforementioned balance issues that she has told us about, and that the infallible Edward has told us about as well. Yet she has no problem riding the bike.
That she falls over while riding it has nothing to do with the balance issues. She falls over because she hit the break too hard on one occasion and the wrong break on the other. What we have here is an egregious consistency error, at best. At worst it's a case of deus ex machina. I doubt it's an error, because the clumsiness aspect of Bella only crops up when it's utterly convenient for the plot. Aside from that one incident in gym class, it HAS NEVER HAPPENED. Our judgment must then be that this is a case of convenience, it is deus ex machina.
We've talked about it before where we literally translated the phrase as "hand of god." However that is a translation not a transliteration. Transliterated the phrase means "god from hand," which makes no sense but "god out of the machine" helps us a little more. The author is god, the machine is the story, what god wills the story must bend toward. However when things show up randomly or without prior cause or consistency the story is thus rendered nonsensical or absurd...or in this case at least the character. Let's let the "Master of those who Know" tell us:
"The right thing, however, is in the characters just as in the incidents of the play to endeavour always after the necessary or the probable; so that whenever such-and-such a person days or does such-and-such a thing, it shall be necessary or probable outcome of his character; and whenever this incident follows on that, it shall be either necessary or the probable consequence of it...there should be nothing improbable among the incidents."*
That was written by Aristotle around 335 BCE. It's a basic call for consistency, if our character is going to be clumsy than let her be clumsy, but she has to do it. To repeat, she has never fallen in the story and we only know that she fell because she told us in a memory. It's entirely improbable that she would be able to ride a motorcycle.
Why does she do it? Because a disembodied voice in her head that sounds like Edward yells at her to stop when she does. That is seriously what happens, she "hears" this, "Do you want to kill yourself, then?" Is that what this is about?"
The comma between "yourself" and "then" is not a typo that is how she wrote it. Here's a good exercise, whenever you see a comma take a quick breath. That's what they are used for and you probably did it without thinking about it anyway but reread the quote....done? Good. Notice how ridiculous it sounds. Typically a writer should be technically better on their second book but we seem to be regressing.
She crashes and then...blah blah blah.
This was the emergency break crash in which she cuts her head bleeding quite profously. In a rare moment of research we learn that, "head wounds just bled more than most."
Despite the error in verb tense, she is right. This is why wrestlers (WWE not Olympic) end up with cuts on their forehead quite frequently. It looks a great deal worse than it is. However, she did flip her bike and head wounds--since she wasn't wearing a helmet** probably gave her a concussion, which is significantly worse than a cut. This is addressed but it's quickly rendered non-important (because possible brain damage is a minor issue), only that her father checks on her for a bit after buying her "I fell" excuse.
The rest of the chapter has Bella and Jake searching the woods for place that Edward took Bella last book. It's trite, it's contrived, but we're along for the ride for some odd reason. What's worse is that Jake is playing third wheel to someone who isn't even there, and Bella never tells Jake why they are doing any of the things that she is having them do. What a role model for young girls everywhere.
There's some more bullshit about reports of a large bear or something in the woods which Charlie is concerned with in his capacity as Sheriff but none of the other major characters are. Jake makes a point about how bears don't like people meat, which is factually correct but we know better. We know that it's not a bear, because Billy doesn't care one bit. It's a damn werewolf. Thank you trailers for the second movie, because there could have been some tension there.
Jake makes a joke, "I bet you'd taste good."
I really should have kept a score card on the accidental porn dialogue this novel uses but Bella follows up in her thought with a comment that it wasn't the first time she had heard that. I would like to ask her, are you sure about that?
____________________________
* 1454a33-1454b4: I admit that using Aristotle to criticize the Twilight series is a bit like using a flamethrower to kill a bee. Although it doesn't mean that it's not fun.
**the bad examples just pile up in this series don't they?
Now, I say, much of a difference because the only thing that really occurs is that Bella "learns" to ride her motorcycle. Which is amusing in a couple of ways, but none of them intentional. The first amusing thing is that Bella seems to get the balancing part right away. I've never ridden a motorcycle, a bicycle yes, but not a motorcycle--so if someone that has done both were to say to me, "you can't quibble that point it's the same principle. Once you get going the balancing takes care of itself." I would concede to their relative expertise on the subject.
However, Bella has repeatedly told us from the start of the first book that she has balance issues. Remember Gym class when she couldn't hit the shuttlecock in badminton without falling over and hitting herself and Mike in the face in one swoop? So in order for her to ride a motorcycle, she would have to retroactively not have this problem. She couldn't have gotten over it, because she hasn't been riding a bike. She couldn't be able to ride a bike as a child because of the aforementioned balance issues that she has told us about, and that the infallible Edward has told us about as well. Yet she has no problem riding the bike.
That she falls over while riding it has nothing to do with the balance issues. She falls over because she hit the break too hard on one occasion and the wrong break on the other. What we have here is an egregious consistency error, at best. At worst it's a case of deus ex machina. I doubt it's an error, because the clumsiness aspect of Bella only crops up when it's utterly convenient for the plot. Aside from that one incident in gym class, it HAS NEVER HAPPENED. Our judgment must then be that this is a case of convenience, it is deus ex machina.
We've talked about it before where we literally translated the phrase as "hand of god." However that is a translation not a transliteration. Transliterated the phrase means "god from hand," which makes no sense but "god out of the machine" helps us a little more. The author is god, the machine is the story, what god wills the story must bend toward. However when things show up randomly or without prior cause or consistency the story is thus rendered nonsensical or absurd...or in this case at least the character. Let's let the "Master of those who Know" tell us:
"The right thing, however, is in the characters just as in the incidents of the play to endeavour always after the necessary or the probable; so that whenever such-and-such a person days or does such-and-such a thing, it shall be necessary or probable outcome of his character; and whenever this incident follows on that, it shall be either necessary or the probable consequence of it...there should be nothing improbable among the incidents."*
That was written by Aristotle around 335 BCE. It's a basic call for consistency, if our character is going to be clumsy than let her be clumsy, but she has to do it. To repeat, she has never fallen in the story and we only know that she fell because she told us in a memory. It's entirely improbable that she would be able to ride a motorcycle.
Why does she do it? Because a disembodied voice in her head that sounds like Edward yells at her to stop when she does. That is seriously what happens, she "hears" this, "Do you want to kill yourself, then?" Is that what this is about?"
The comma between "yourself" and "then" is not a typo that is how she wrote it. Here's a good exercise, whenever you see a comma take a quick breath. That's what they are used for and you probably did it without thinking about it anyway but reread the quote....done? Good. Notice how ridiculous it sounds. Typically a writer should be technically better on their second book but we seem to be regressing.
She crashes and then...blah blah blah.
This was the emergency break crash in which she cuts her head bleeding quite profously. In a rare moment of research we learn that, "head wounds just bled more than most."
Despite the error in verb tense, she is right. This is why wrestlers (WWE not Olympic) end up with cuts on their forehead quite frequently. It looks a great deal worse than it is. However, she did flip her bike and head wounds--since she wasn't wearing a helmet** probably gave her a concussion, which is significantly worse than a cut. This is addressed but it's quickly rendered non-important (because possible brain damage is a minor issue), only that her father checks on her for a bit after buying her "I fell" excuse.
The rest of the chapter has Bella and Jake searching the woods for place that Edward took Bella last book. It's trite, it's contrived, but we're along for the ride for some odd reason. What's worse is that Jake is playing third wheel to someone who isn't even there, and Bella never tells Jake why they are doing any of the things that she is having them do. What a role model for young girls everywhere.
There's some more bullshit about reports of a large bear or something in the woods which Charlie is concerned with in his capacity as Sheriff but none of the other major characters are. Jake makes a point about how bears don't like people meat, which is factually correct but we know better. We know that it's not a bear, because Billy doesn't care one bit. It's a damn werewolf. Thank you trailers for the second movie, because there could have been some tension there.
Jake makes a joke, "I bet you'd taste good."
I really should have kept a score card on the accidental porn dialogue this novel uses but Bella follows up in her thought with a comment that it wasn't the first time she had heard that. I would like to ask her, are you sure about that?
____________________________
* 1454a33-1454b4: I admit that using Aristotle to criticize the Twilight series is a bit like using a flamethrower to kill a bee. Although it doesn't mean that it's not fun.
**the bad examples just pile up in this series don't they?
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