Brendan Gill, a writer for the New Yorker once defined pornography as being a film in which you notice that the characters spend more time going through doors, getting in and out of cars, in other words--transitioning from one location to another then doing anything else.* While this sort of definition leaves out the more visceral substance of pornography it makes sense. The characters, aren't really characters at all, they are place holders for the action. There is no real plot development, no character growth, nothing that we could say that we learned--perhaps other than the bill for the cable guy is apparently open to interpretation. By Gill's definition we might actually be able to say that Twilight is pornography.
No it's not porn porn, but it's a type of porn. It's certainly fantasy fulfillment for a certain segment of the population. I would be open to debate on this topic because like the characters in actual porn, there is no development. The plot is merely a vehicle for certain situations to develop, and if I read this book to myself while someone plays bass in the background the similarities really work in my favor. We have had one character, pining for another, throw herself into the arms of a third, all the while ignoring any facet of common sense, and who (as Gill points out) constantly changes scenery. In fact the first four pages of this chapter detail a walk through two hallways, a couple of doors; to which even Bella remarks as to the endlessness of it. Which is pretty bad considering that Bella is the stand in for the author. When even the creator is sick of something in their world one has to wonder why it's there in the first place.**
"The stone antechamber was not large. It opened quickly into a brighter, cavernous room..."
I haven't pointed a good thing in a while, but I will say this: Meyer has used the term "ante" in "antechamber" more correct than a lot of bloggers I have read. "Ante" means "before" or "pre" not "against."
Once everyone has been collected, there is going to be a meeting of sorts. The vampire herald, Jane, enters in the room and is greeted by the chief (we assume, at this point we haven't learned who he is), "He drifted forward, and the movement flowed with such surreal grace that I gawked..."
And I was just done complimenting her too, "surreal" is a synonym for bizarre. It doesn't mean unbelievable, or incredible, it means strange to the point of absurdity, irrational--not anything like the way it's being used here.
The chief, Aro (seriously), is happy not only to see Jane ok, but also to see Bella, Edward, and Alice all alive and ok. He's happy, a little too happy but I guess this is an attempt to portray him as being eccentric. He congratulates himself on not killing Edward yesterday, chides Edward for wanting such, and expresses marvel at Alice's talent.
It seems that Aro's mutant power...I mean vampire power, is that he can hear thoughts as well. Only as long as he is touching the person in question. This limitation is buttressed by the fact that while Edward can only receive current thoughts, Aro downloads the entire brain. After a bit Aro's brothers come in, Caius and Marcus and instead of thinking that everything is wonderful they are bored. This is nice.
What often gets missed in tales of the deathless,*** is the immense amount of time they actually have. They don't just view the future as being a long time that they are going to live, they view their life as going through the rest of time...i.e. all of it. The alternate ending to the movie "Death Becomes Her," handled it well as the two women who had gained eternal life began to become bored. There was nothing they could do, furthermore they were already shallow superficial women to begin with, so if these vampires are really older than the Roman civilization I somehow doubt they give one fuck about whether or not a human and childish vampire were alive. This bores me and i only have sixty or seventy more years ahead of me.
Aro's mutant, er vampire power does save us from having to read a recap though, "But he (Marcus) just touched Aro's palm briefly and then dropped his hand to his side. Aro raised one black brow."
Aro has the story, somehow. Shouldn't he have touched Bella, Alice, and Edward to get the rest of the story on this one? What the hell does his brother know? That answer is as ridiculous as the situation itself. Marcus, the one that touched, Aro can telepathically determine relationships. That's it, he's surprised that it's so intense between Edward and Bella but that's all of the information the can possibly give to Aro.
They segue into a discussion about Bella, of course. Bella is immune to Edward's telepathy so Aro wants to know if she's immune to him. Fair enough, it turns out that she is. Then it's Jane's turn. Jane has a power that we don't know about, but apparently it's enough to turn Edward feral. Angry he is, much clouded are his thoughts as he launches himself at Jane--but is cut down on the floor sniveling. Jane's power stopped him but it cannot affect Bella. The conclusion is that Bella is immune to vampire powers.
Except that she's not. Alice can see her future, not just the general future but specific things. She saw Bella jump (or, sigh, fall) further is that Marcus can perceive her emotions as well. This conclusion means that either Aro is an idiot or the plot is literally forgetting what just happened. Either is possible.
It seems that one of Aro's brothers is actually the reasonable one though, Caius reminds Aro that their law still claims them. We don't know if he means all three or just Bella and Edward but the law is the law. What's at stake is that Bella is a human, she's seen too much, and she's not food. It's a security issue. Edward gots to get got as well because he won't leave Bella to die nor will he turn her. Aro asks him if he will eventually turn her and Edward locks up.
Bella pleads but since Edward knows best he won't answer. How to resolve this: cleverly I might add. Alice, who has previously expressed impatience at her brother's decision to not be locked down for eternity settles it. She walks over and places her hand in Aro's sharing with him the future she has seen. Aro is delighted, "To see the things you've seen-especially the ones that haven't happened yet!' he shook his head in wonder.
---But that will,' she (Alice) reminded him, voice calm.
Yes, yes, it's quite determined. Certainly there's no problem."
Very well done. It really works because given Aro's disposition we really can't know what she let him see. I've the feeling that he would be as delighted no matter what.
Too bad we have five more pages of crap before the chapter ends. They don't merely leave, they walk by Heidi and some other people that are going to stand trial. It's a useless detail, utterly useless because we don't need to know who they are, nor get hinted at as to their fate. I'm willing to bet that we don't even need to know who Heidi is either. Yet they finally leave the underworld. Hopefully for less door opening and closing.
_______________________
*In the interest of academic honesty, I have no idea where he said it. I know the quote from Roger Ebert's review of the first Underworld movie.
**Right god?
***Because immortal doesn't mean the same thing. Vampires were still born after all.
No it's not porn porn, but it's a type of porn. It's certainly fantasy fulfillment for a certain segment of the population. I would be open to debate on this topic because like the characters in actual porn, there is no development. The plot is merely a vehicle for certain situations to develop, and if I read this book to myself while someone plays bass in the background the similarities really work in my favor. We have had one character, pining for another, throw herself into the arms of a third, all the while ignoring any facet of common sense, and who (as Gill points out) constantly changes scenery. In fact the first four pages of this chapter detail a walk through two hallways, a couple of doors; to which even Bella remarks as to the endlessness of it. Which is pretty bad considering that Bella is the stand in for the author. When even the creator is sick of something in their world one has to wonder why it's there in the first place.**
"The stone antechamber was not large. It opened quickly into a brighter, cavernous room..."
I haven't pointed a good thing in a while, but I will say this: Meyer has used the term "ante" in "antechamber" more correct than a lot of bloggers I have read. "Ante" means "before" or "pre" not "against."
Once everyone has been collected, there is going to be a meeting of sorts. The vampire herald, Jane, enters in the room and is greeted by the chief (we assume, at this point we haven't learned who he is), "He drifted forward, and the movement flowed with such surreal grace that I gawked..."
And I was just done complimenting her too, "surreal" is a synonym for bizarre. It doesn't mean unbelievable, or incredible, it means strange to the point of absurdity, irrational--not anything like the way it's being used here.
The chief, Aro (seriously), is happy not only to see Jane ok, but also to see Bella, Edward, and Alice all alive and ok. He's happy, a little too happy but I guess this is an attempt to portray him as being eccentric. He congratulates himself on not killing Edward yesterday, chides Edward for wanting such, and expresses marvel at Alice's talent.
It seems that Aro's mutant power...I mean vampire power, is that he can hear thoughts as well. Only as long as he is touching the person in question. This limitation is buttressed by the fact that while Edward can only receive current thoughts, Aro downloads the entire brain. After a bit Aro's brothers come in, Caius and Marcus and instead of thinking that everything is wonderful they are bored. This is nice.
What often gets missed in tales of the deathless,*** is the immense amount of time they actually have. They don't just view the future as being a long time that they are going to live, they view their life as going through the rest of time...i.e. all of it. The alternate ending to the movie "Death Becomes Her," handled it well as the two women who had gained eternal life began to become bored. There was nothing they could do, furthermore they were already shallow superficial women to begin with, so if these vampires are really older than the Roman civilization I somehow doubt they give one fuck about whether or not a human and childish vampire were alive. This bores me and i only have sixty or seventy more years ahead of me.
Aro's mutant, er vampire power does save us from having to read a recap though, "But he (Marcus) just touched Aro's palm briefly and then dropped his hand to his side. Aro raised one black brow."
Aro has the story, somehow. Shouldn't he have touched Bella, Alice, and Edward to get the rest of the story on this one? What the hell does his brother know? That answer is as ridiculous as the situation itself. Marcus, the one that touched, Aro can telepathically determine relationships. That's it, he's surprised that it's so intense between Edward and Bella but that's all of the information the can possibly give to Aro.
They segue into a discussion about Bella, of course. Bella is immune to Edward's telepathy so Aro wants to know if she's immune to him. Fair enough, it turns out that she is. Then it's Jane's turn. Jane has a power that we don't know about, but apparently it's enough to turn Edward feral. Angry he is, much clouded are his thoughts as he launches himself at Jane--but is cut down on the floor sniveling. Jane's power stopped him but it cannot affect Bella. The conclusion is that Bella is immune to vampire powers.
Except that she's not. Alice can see her future, not just the general future but specific things. She saw Bella jump (or, sigh, fall) further is that Marcus can perceive her emotions as well. This conclusion means that either Aro is an idiot or the plot is literally forgetting what just happened. Either is possible.
It seems that one of Aro's brothers is actually the reasonable one though, Caius reminds Aro that their law still claims them. We don't know if he means all three or just Bella and Edward but the law is the law. What's at stake is that Bella is a human, she's seen too much, and she's not food. It's a security issue. Edward gots to get got as well because he won't leave Bella to die nor will he turn her. Aro asks him if he will eventually turn her and Edward locks up.
Bella pleads but since Edward knows best he won't answer. How to resolve this: cleverly I might add. Alice, who has previously expressed impatience at her brother's decision to not be locked down for eternity settles it. She walks over and places her hand in Aro's sharing with him the future she has seen. Aro is delighted, "To see the things you've seen-especially the ones that haven't happened yet!' he shook his head in wonder.
---But that will,' she (Alice) reminded him, voice calm.
Yes, yes, it's quite determined. Certainly there's no problem."
Very well done. It really works because given Aro's disposition we really can't know what she let him see. I've the feeling that he would be as delighted no matter what.
Too bad we have five more pages of crap before the chapter ends. They don't merely leave, they walk by Heidi and some other people that are going to stand trial. It's a useless detail, utterly useless because we don't need to know who they are, nor get hinted at as to their fate. I'm willing to bet that we don't even need to know who Heidi is either. Yet they finally leave the underworld. Hopefully for less door opening and closing.
_______________________
*In the interest of academic honesty, I have no idea where he said it. I know the quote from Roger Ebert's review of the first Underworld movie.
**Right god?
***Because immortal doesn't mean the same thing. Vampires were still born after all.
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