We've got a short one today, but I know that upon writing that I've just jinxed myself. One of the problems in writing this blog is that sometimes I have to make choices about what I want to write about. Last week's entry covered a rather large portion of the book but there was one central idea that occurred in the section. This week we have a short section, but it isn't really a section at all since absolutely nothing happens. We left off with a Bella's incoherent, but not out of character, rambling after being dumped by Edward. We must remember that the reason that Edward dumped Bella is because they are different creatures, not because he didn't love her or anything else. His reasoning is actually valid, their relationship would be like that of a snake and a rat. One of them just really wants to eat the other.
Out of this breakup we discover that before it happened Edward broke into Bella's room and stole the picture of himself. Because somehow that will make the breakup easier. Bella is shocked by this but regards it with some admiration. She's just had her heart broken for a reason that was apparent when they first met, so at this point it's pretty arbitrary, and still she can't assert herself enough to admit that he might not be perfect. She goes to sleep. And then we have today's actual section. This happens in September, which we know because the new school year had just started.
This is the entirety of pg. 85 "October."
Alright, it is a chapter heading...but then here is the entirety of pg. 86" "
Here's pg. 87 "November"
This continues to January on Pg. 91 and on 93 the story resumes. That's eight pages discussing the passage of time. with four words on those eight pages. At first I thought it silly, then stupid, now utterly pointless as a waste of time. Granted it only wasted a minute or two but those are minutes I want back. The problem for me is that I understand why Meyer did it, and that's because I understand what sloppy writing is through my own early attempts at writing fiction.
We start out with October, which is fine if something happens in October. Since nothing does we quickly skip over to November and on and on until January. What we should have read after Bella goes to sleep on pg. 84 was "January" on pg. 85 and perhaps a line in the very beginning of that paragraph which read something like "It was now winter, and going back to school after winter break was going to be difficult..." or even a more trite "four months had passed and it still wasn't getting easier."
Placing those eight pages like she did reminds me of Lord of the Rings. No, not the books or the Peter Jackson trilogy but rather the, uh interesting Ralph Bakishi animated version that comprised the first two books of the trilogy. People who only know the Jackson movies miss the fact that the story takes place over a period of many years. Between Bilbo's leaving the Shire and Frodo leaving the Shire a number of years pass, 17 in fact. It is 3001 of the third age when Bilbo turns 111, it is the 3018 when Frodo leaves the Shire with Sam and the ring. This is glossed over in Jackson's movies because it lends to a sense of panic--that Gandalf made haste to determine whether or not Bilbo's ring was the one they were looking for. Bakishi goes a different route. He has an external shot of Bag End in the summer and then runs through a change of seasons, eight or nine times at high speed. Just so we get the sense of the passing of time. The only time that passes is ours, because a simple subtitle would suffice both in Meyer's book and in the movie.
The other problem with this abrupt time shift is that are we really to believe that nothing of any importance happens to her in the next four months? Our main issue with Bella is that she has no life outside of the person that she is attached to, in this case Edward. Bella identifies herself solely as Edward's girlfriend now that he is gone, she has to establish her identity. Even less philosophical, she was just dumped by a person who, for some reason, is the love of her life. Wouldn't a chapter or so of immediate post break up psychological exploration be something teenage girls would be interested in? Maybe it's just me, but wouldn't writing for your audience be a good thing? It's why Kevin Smith works in at least one star wars reference in every film, while it may seem pandering it works. Here it ought to be necessary we have many questions to ask about what happened in October:
1) did she go to school?
2) how did her friends react?
3) what exactly did she do to pass the time?
Instead we are left to make assumptions about these four months in which I guess she just laid in her bed. It sounds pretty lame but if there's no water we have to drink something.
Out of this breakup we discover that before it happened Edward broke into Bella's room and stole the picture of himself. Because somehow that will make the breakup easier. Bella is shocked by this but regards it with some admiration. She's just had her heart broken for a reason that was apparent when they first met, so at this point it's pretty arbitrary, and still she can't assert herself enough to admit that he might not be perfect. She goes to sleep. And then we have today's actual section. This happens in September, which we know because the new school year had just started.
This is the entirety of pg. 85 "October."
Alright, it is a chapter heading...but then here is the entirety of pg. 86" "
Here's pg. 87 "November"
This continues to January on Pg. 91 and on 93 the story resumes. That's eight pages discussing the passage of time. with four words on those eight pages. At first I thought it silly, then stupid, now utterly pointless as a waste of time. Granted it only wasted a minute or two but those are minutes I want back. The problem for me is that I understand why Meyer did it, and that's because I understand what sloppy writing is through my own early attempts at writing fiction.
We start out with October, which is fine if something happens in October. Since nothing does we quickly skip over to November and on and on until January. What we should have read after Bella goes to sleep on pg. 84 was "January" on pg. 85 and perhaps a line in the very beginning of that paragraph which read something like "It was now winter, and going back to school after winter break was going to be difficult..." or even a more trite "four months had passed and it still wasn't getting easier."
Placing those eight pages like she did reminds me of Lord of the Rings. No, not the books or the Peter Jackson trilogy but rather the, uh interesting Ralph Bakishi animated version that comprised the first two books of the trilogy. People who only know the Jackson movies miss the fact that the story takes place over a period of many years. Between Bilbo's leaving the Shire and Frodo leaving the Shire a number of years pass, 17 in fact. It is 3001 of the third age when Bilbo turns 111, it is the 3018 when Frodo leaves the Shire with Sam and the ring. This is glossed over in Jackson's movies because it lends to a sense of panic--that Gandalf made haste to determine whether or not Bilbo's ring was the one they were looking for. Bakishi goes a different route. He has an external shot of Bag End in the summer and then runs through a change of seasons, eight or nine times at high speed. Just so we get the sense of the passing of time. The only time that passes is ours, because a simple subtitle would suffice both in Meyer's book and in the movie.
The other problem with this abrupt time shift is that are we really to believe that nothing of any importance happens to her in the next four months? Our main issue with Bella is that she has no life outside of the person that she is attached to, in this case Edward. Bella identifies herself solely as Edward's girlfriend now that he is gone, she has to establish her identity. Even less philosophical, she was just dumped by a person who, for some reason, is the love of her life. Wouldn't a chapter or so of immediate post break up psychological exploration be something teenage girls would be interested in? Maybe it's just me, but wouldn't writing for your audience be a good thing? It's why Kevin Smith works in at least one star wars reference in every film, while it may seem pandering it works. Here it ought to be necessary we have many questions to ask about what happened in October:
1) did she go to school?
2) how did her friends react?
3) what exactly did she do to pass the time?
Instead we are left to make assumptions about these four months in which I guess she just laid in her bed. It sounds pretty lame but if there's no water we have to drink something.
The movie actually deals with this scene fairly well. Bella is seen sitting in a chair looking out a window. The camera turns in a circle around her for about two minutes, and every time it passes the window it looks different outside. First there are leaves falling, then later there is snow, and all the while there is droning emo music. Then you're subjected to a montage of Bella sitting and looking forlorn in various places. She has night terrors, and has sent dozens of emails to Alice that have been returned. It gets the point across quickly that the months have passed, and she's not letting go at all.
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