"The Indians said, throw out the captain and everyone will be spared."
"What happened?"
"They threw him out! And that's why it's called Fort Sensible."
--The Simpsons, "Whacking Day"
We're back after a week off so that I could finish my assignments for the semester. We bring up a classic episode of the Simpsons, from when it was good,* because it illustrates a problem that the Cullens are having with Bella that only one of them seems to understand. To recap, three new vampires are in town and two of them really really want to kill Bella and eat her. Out of the blue, the Cullens decide that the best course of action is to rush her out of town forcing her to abandon her father with no prior notice. All of which she accepts with only token protest. I should note here that this is indicative of the religion of the writer. If a person marries in to a Mormon family, they have to adopt the ways and means of the new religion. I'm aware of this through personal experience as well as many testimonials regarding the religion. The Mormons take to shunning non-Mormons, this is evidenced even by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle in the very first Sherlock Holmes story "A Study in Scarlet," although it's less fatal now.
They are trying to escape a Tracker, which is some sort of super vampire that they can't just hide from. Which is an idea that never really crosses their mind. James isn't from the area, and although it's not that big, he doesn't know where anything is. They could hide her in town and then set a trap, but apparently none of the Cullens received the gift of knowing how to bait a trap. Which is odd given how old they are supposed to be, just watching season 2 of the A-Team would allow them to have basic knowledge of this concept.
Intelligently, however, their plan involves having Bella switch out of her clothes. Edward asks Rosalie to do this and Rosalie, clearly the most intelligent of the group replies, "Why should I?' she hissed, 'What is she to me? Except a menace--a danger you've chosen to inflict on all of us."
Rosalie's reply is pragmatic, and the rest of the Cullens must understand this because they don't rebuke her. I understand that she is supposed to come off as a bitch here but she's right. Bella isn't anything to them other than Edward's girlfriend. There are many numerous ethical theories put forth throughout the history of Philosophy that will state that Rosalie is being unethical. From Plato to Kant to Rawls, and even Levinas who said that our first duty is to the other, but Rosalie has a point. Bella isn't important other than being Edward's current relationship. He's not 17, he's a vampire who will not die of old age while she will. Later Jasper will tell Bella that they are protecting her because they don't want to see him lonely again, which is very nice for family cohesion, but she will die. Furthermore it's implied that Bella's scent is something different, more special than other humans so other vampires will be hungering for her if they catch it as well. Rosalie wants to sit this one out, I don't blame her. At most protecting Bella gives the undying Edward, what, another 70 years? It sounds like a long time for us mortals but to the undying it's like a week. Aside from Happy-Go-Lucky Alice, she makes the most sense.
Speaking of the precognitive, they actually consider her when they formulate their plan which I'm calling the "Audrey Hepburn Gambit" since I watched three episodes of Leverage and Ocean's 13 in the last week.** Esme and Bella go off to the room to undress each other (seriously) and switch clothes: the plan is that Esme dressed like Bella will go off in the jeep. Later Jasper and Alice will drive Bella somewhere and meet up with Edward. It's like a bait and switch but a little over complicated. Why not just leave at the same time, James can't be in two places at once?
Someone gets handed a "tiny silver phone" which given the time of this writing and the apparent wealth of the Cullens was probably a Motorola Razr. I'm just mentioning that.
Carlisle, before putting on his black leather gloves and popping a cigar in his mouth asks the brains of the operation, Alice, "Will they take the bait?"
Good job, centuries old patriarch, consulting the person who actually can tell how things are going to turn out. It would have been better to come up with about five or six plans and then ask her how they would end up but at least you are aware that your shitty plan still needs the future to work out.
They speed off. Bella falls asleep and wakes up in Arizona. Jasper asks her for directions to the airport, which Bella gives and then asks why, "It's better to be close, just in case."
Having been written post 9/11 this is the part of the plan that doesn't make any sense. You can't just go into an airport and buy a ticket in a hurry. That's a security flag. You also need at least an hour to get through security, so if James has figured out the Hepburn Gambit and is on his way then they need to pack up Bella, drive to the airport, buy a ticket, check their bags and get into the hanger. Then they will be sort of safe, if James doesn't follow them and do they exact same thing. Or James could just lose interest. I've seen cheetahs and bears do this on the discovery channel (er, National Geographic since Discovery is about motorcycles now for some reason), the prey gets too hard to catch and they go after something else. Since James has already eaten in Seattle he can't be that interested in one person.
Although he's a hunter and Laurent has said that it's the chase that thrills him. If that's the case, then isn't all of this running, hiding, and switching actually making him more interested in all of this?
____________________
*Which is always more than six years ago, and a statement which is true as long as it is made after season 7.
**I just love the names they give to these elaborate cons.
"What happened?"
"They threw him out! And that's why it's called Fort Sensible."
--The Simpsons, "Whacking Day"
We're back after a week off so that I could finish my assignments for the semester. We bring up a classic episode of the Simpsons, from when it was good,* because it illustrates a problem that the Cullens are having with Bella that only one of them seems to understand. To recap, three new vampires are in town and two of them really really want to kill Bella and eat her. Out of the blue, the Cullens decide that the best course of action is to rush her out of town forcing her to abandon her father with no prior notice. All of which she accepts with only token protest. I should note here that this is indicative of the religion of the writer. If a person marries in to a Mormon family, they have to adopt the ways and means of the new religion. I'm aware of this through personal experience as well as many testimonials regarding the religion. The Mormons take to shunning non-Mormons, this is evidenced even by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle in the very first Sherlock Holmes story "A Study in Scarlet," although it's less fatal now.
They are trying to escape a Tracker, which is some sort of super vampire that they can't just hide from. Which is an idea that never really crosses their mind. James isn't from the area, and although it's not that big, he doesn't know where anything is. They could hide her in town and then set a trap, but apparently none of the Cullens received the gift of knowing how to bait a trap. Which is odd given how old they are supposed to be, just watching season 2 of the A-Team would allow them to have basic knowledge of this concept.
Intelligently, however, their plan involves having Bella switch out of her clothes. Edward asks Rosalie to do this and Rosalie, clearly the most intelligent of the group replies, "Why should I?' she hissed, 'What is she to me? Except a menace--a danger you've chosen to inflict on all of us."
Rosalie's reply is pragmatic, and the rest of the Cullens must understand this because they don't rebuke her. I understand that she is supposed to come off as a bitch here but she's right. Bella isn't anything to them other than Edward's girlfriend. There are many numerous ethical theories put forth throughout the history of Philosophy that will state that Rosalie is being unethical. From Plato to Kant to Rawls, and even Levinas who said that our first duty is to the other, but Rosalie has a point. Bella isn't important other than being Edward's current relationship. He's not 17, he's a vampire who will not die of old age while she will. Later Jasper will tell Bella that they are protecting her because they don't want to see him lonely again, which is very nice for family cohesion, but she will die. Furthermore it's implied that Bella's scent is something different, more special than other humans so other vampires will be hungering for her if they catch it as well. Rosalie wants to sit this one out, I don't blame her. At most protecting Bella gives the undying Edward, what, another 70 years? It sounds like a long time for us mortals but to the undying it's like a week. Aside from Happy-Go-Lucky Alice, she makes the most sense.
Speaking of the precognitive, they actually consider her when they formulate their plan which I'm calling the "Audrey Hepburn Gambit" since I watched three episodes of Leverage and Ocean's 13 in the last week.** Esme and Bella go off to the room to undress each other (seriously) and switch clothes: the plan is that Esme dressed like Bella will go off in the jeep. Later Jasper and Alice will drive Bella somewhere and meet up with Edward. It's like a bait and switch but a little over complicated. Why not just leave at the same time, James can't be in two places at once?
Someone gets handed a "tiny silver phone" which given the time of this writing and the apparent wealth of the Cullens was probably a Motorola Razr. I'm just mentioning that.
Carlisle, before putting on his black leather gloves and popping a cigar in his mouth asks the brains of the operation, Alice, "Will they take the bait?"
Good job, centuries old patriarch, consulting the person who actually can tell how things are going to turn out. It would have been better to come up with about five or six plans and then ask her how they would end up but at least you are aware that your shitty plan still needs the future to work out.
They speed off. Bella falls asleep and wakes up in Arizona. Jasper asks her for directions to the airport, which Bella gives and then asks why, "It's better to be close, just in case."
Having been written post 9/11 this is the part of the plan that doesn't make any sense. You can't just go into an airport and buy a ticket in a hurry. That's a security flag. You also need at least an hour to get through security, so if James has figured out the Hepburn Gambit and is on his way then they need to pack up Bella, drive to the airport, buy a ticket, check their bags and get into the hanger. Then they will be sort of safe, if James doesn't follow them and do they exact same thing. Or James could just lose interest. I've seen cheetahs and bears do this on the discovery channel (er, National Geographic since Discovery is about motorcycles now for some reason), the prey gets too hard to catch and they go after something else. Since James has already eaten in Seattle he can't be that interested in one person.
Although he's a hunter and Laurent has said that it's the chase that thrills him. If that's the case, then isn't all of this running, hiding, and switching actually making him more interested in all of this?
____________________
*Which is always more than six years ago, and a statement which is true as long as it is made after season 7.
**I just love the names they give to these elaborate cons.
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